I'll Be Here - Modern!Eliza × Depressed!Reader

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(A/n:

I know, I know! I'm breaking my own rule. But this is one is special. It was a request by Peter-Parker-2018!

Request:

I've always wanted like a Elizabeth Schuyler x Reader (boy or girl) But the Reader is depressed and Eliza helps them cope with it, promising that she will always be with them. Just because it's cute-

Warnings: Reader being depressed, reader cutting herself, angst.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I don't care if you feel like you're bothering me, because you're not. I'm always here. Please keep fighting.

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"(Y/N)!" My best friend yelled, joy lacing her voice. I smiled. Or, faked one at least. I wish I could actually feel happy.

"Liza'!" Eliza laughed and hugged me. I could tell that she fell for it. I hate lying to her. She's not only my best friend, but my crush too. We've known each other for a long time. Since middle school, and now we're adults.

I was diagnosed with depression in my senior year of high school. I never told Eliza. I didn't want her to think I was weak. She might not want to be around me. That thought alone made my heart break.

It's probably what she thinks about when she's around me. Why she is best friends with worthless stupid loser like me. She could be doing better.

"Hey (Y/N)..? Are you okay?" Eliza put her hand on my shoulder, making me snap out of my thoughts. I nodded. I didn't know that tears threated to fall down my face. Eliza glanced at me. I could tell she didn't buy it.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" Eliza asked me in a soft voice. If she only knew how much I wanted to tell her what's wrong. What's going on in my mind. Why I didn't come out of my room for days on end. I couldn't though. She would probably hate me for not telling her sooner. For being weak. For being selfish.

"I'm fine, I promise. Why would I lie to you?" That was a lie.

"If you say so..." She bought it.

After an hour of just watching Netflix, Eliza got up. I looked up at her. She passed me a smile.

"I have to go. I promised Angelica I would go dress shopping with her for her date with Laurens." I nodded, and got up too. I walked her to the door. Before she opened it up, she hugged me and whispered bye to me, and left. Which left me with my thoughts.

(What's coming up next might trigger some people. If it does, then please wait for tomorrow's oneshot.)

'That's a lie. She couldn't stand being around you.' I looked down at the ground.

"It's not the truth, your minds playing tricks on you." I told myself. I've done this before, and it's worked.

'If it is, then why was she distant around you today? Or whenever you hang out?' I felt tears prick my eyes. It's not true. It's not true.

'Yes it is. She hates you. Everyone hates you. Just end it here. That would make everyone happy.' I felt my feet moving towards the bathroom. I wanted to stop. I did, but it felt right. I was just going to do it a couple times. That will satisfy me.

I opened the bathroom door, and turned on the light. I shut the door behind me, and searched around for my razer. When I finally found it, I shakily pulled up my sleeve. This is what I wanted.

I then placed the razor next to my skin, and cut myself on my arm. The blood running down it. It felt warm. I did it again.

'This is what you deserve.' My mind seemed to say. I did it again, until I heard the door bust open. I quickly through down the razer into the sink, and looked at who it was.

"(Y/N)! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Eliza screamed. I snapped out of my haze and looked at my arm. It stinged. I started to cry and fell to the floor. Eliza hugged me while crying also.

"I..I'm sorry..I..I didn't.." That was all that could come out of my throat. Eliza hugged me tighter, and I sobbed into her shoulder.

"I..It's my fault. I..I shouldn't have left you here..." She shook her head and ran her fingers through my hair.

I pulled away and looked into her brown eyes. I shook my head. Of course she would blame herself. She's that type of person. It's my fault.

"N..No..I sh..should have told you..about it.." I wiped my eyes. Eliza pulled me into a  tight hug again. I hugged her back just as tight. I didn't want to let go. After a few minutes, she spoke up.

"How long?"

"This was my first time..I was diagnosed with depression in senior year.." I finally got it off my chest. She's gonna leave me now. She's going to get mad, and leave me here.

"Oh (Y/N)! You should have told me!" She sobbed out. I was surprised. She wasn't mad? I would have been mad at me.

"Y..You're not mad..?" Eliza gasped and laughed. At a time like this she would laugh? I think she's mad in the mind too.

"N..No! I have no reason to be.." I finally smiled and hugged her tighter. I sighed relieved. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she was.

"This is why I love you." I blurted out. I felt my cheeks heat up. Of course I had to say that out loud. Now she's gonna leave for sure. I messed it up again. I did it again. I ruin everything.

"I love you too, (Y/N)." Eliza finally said. She then kissed my cheek and laughed. I then giggled.

"I love you so much that I won't ever leave you. I promise." I then leaned and kissed her lips. She was surprised, but kissed back. Her lips were soft. After a while, we both pulled back, gasping for air, smiling like dorks.

I had finally found happiness, and I wasn't going to let it go.

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Thank you to Peter-Parker-2018 for the request! Remember, requests are open. Thank you for reading!

Author out!

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