Things I Can't Say Out Loud

Aug 1, 2018 12:33am

Putting a label on a person

Stereotypes
A term used to define all people of a certain belief into a mostly negative category

I've been stereotyped since 4th grade.

"Are you gay?"
"Do you like girls?"
"Why do you dress as a boy"

And one that always made me deny it all

"faggot"

Growing up watching my older sister being thrown in a corner because she dated a FtM boy, always made me deny my feelings

But I've always had a feeling, I believe Lauren Jauregui was my first female crush. Tho I was just 7 watching them on the X Factor. But I only watched it because she was on it

I always thought the reason I had a strong attractive to her because I wanted to be like her. Accomplishing her dreams, but it wasn't

5th grade I went to homeschool because 1) the first day I was sticking noted on the back with

"Fat ass"
"I'm gay"
"Overweight"
And
"Faggot"

And 2) the stuff with my dads wife

I had no clue what liking someone felt like, never mind a girl and if I did have a small feeling for a girl I felt disgusting

6th grade was when i decided to go back to school for a fresh start little did I know doing that was gonna help me

At the time I wasn't talking to my mom or my family because I was over the feelings but their was this girl

Not to mention my best friend at the times girlfriend

She was stunning,

Ocean blue eyes, thin long blonde hair.

Relationships happened in 6th grade a lot of them, also did verbal and sometimes physical abuse

I got close with her she introduced me to her friends and I introduced her to my idiotic friends.

Surprisingly her cousin was my close friend

Small fucking world

But the more I hung out with the blonde the more I felt captivated. By her laugh, smile, when she got aggravated she pursue her lips or when I'd tickle her she try to kick me

But things headed down south

Her boyfriend (my best friend) found out I liked her before I even knew I liked her. Then she found out.

Soon enough my anger started

She never stopped being my friend. Well kinda for a week or 2 but got her shit together and came back and I confronted I'm really not into relationships especially at 12

She broke up with him and he told the entire school I was gay and I liked her

Surprise?

I stopped trusting people and kept my friend circle small witch honestly felt like a good idea

That was the year I found out I was bisexual

Btw my sister is marrying him and I couldn't be more proud

Sincerely
             Asshole