Things I Can't Say Out Loud

Sept 23rd, 2018 2:42am

Have you thought about so much you don't even realize it any more?

You just start smiling like a fool for no apparent reason till you realize it's them

They clogged your mind and you gotten used to it to the point you clock out real life for a moment

There's a girl

A pretty adorable soft sweet girl

I'm scared shitless that the feelings that are slowly developing for her are gonna become stronger and I'm gonna get to ahead of myself and fuck it all up—again

And I'm not ready to feel that pain again and end up hurting myself and everyone around me because I have feelings for someone and I start pushing that someone away or letting them get to close

I've been denying my feelings for her for 4-5 weeks now yet I just caught my self writing her name in graffiti letters in my notebook

Because how sweet and nice she is to me and hugs me every time she sees me noisy ass kids at our school asked her if we're together and I felt my heart sink

I hate putting people in situations like that because I'm bisexual or as they love to put it a dyke

She's to soft to be in drama and bull shit like that and I'm scared I'm gonna push her away so she won't have to worry about it

But I'm scared if I don't she'll end up leaving on her own

And I'm not prepared for either one of them, she said she won't but at the same time I've heard that so many times I can't believe it anymore

Because I always end up getting my hopes up

Sincerely
Asshole