Things I Can't Say Out Loud

Oct 10th, 2018 9:41pm

Relationships

Something I'm deeply afraid of but something I want

When I think of a relationship, heart break is the first thing that comes to mind because not all relationships end happy ever after

To me

I'm to clingy, jealous and to bottled up

So it doesn't make sense to me to be in a relationship if it's just gonna end with me in a mental state

My friends say "there's someone for everyone" but I'd like to disagree some people are just better off on their own

Like me

Yeah my friends will try and set me up with people exactly what they are doing now but I'm not with it I'm ment to be alone

I've always been alone and I'll stay alone

If I'm not ok with myself how can I go and push myself onto to someone to make em be ok with me

I love love

Love the idea of love

But it's just not meant for a person like me it's why I'm so found of reading about it late at night, with the lights off, the fan on, covered in my quilt head to toe on my side just reading till I get tired

It's just a thing I wasn't wired for

I'm to dependent on others to make me happy because I'm not capable of being happy on my own

I'm to independent when it comes to things about myself because I'm not 100% open not even close to 50% open

And that isn't healthy

So before I tie the strings of my pants and jump into a relationship I need to put them on first

I need to fix myself before I even think of a relationship

Sincerely
Asshole