Inconvenient To Adore (bxb)

XIV

    I sat on Onyx couch as he went to look for the other controller somewhere else, he seemed still mad but he wasn't really saying anything. Sometimes I really be wondering,why the fuck you here.

X-box
Hell no, I got my food Nd
Jermain tryna go to some cyph, but yk I'm not gay and weed make niggas horny.

I couldn't help but laugh a bit, Xavyer ass would've never knew if he was gay or not, his father was homophobic and his mother was a half ass catholic, so he probably never even tried to look at a males dick, but who knows.

To X-Box
Tuhh, Jermain might hook you up w/ some college girls.

When I looked up I saw Onyx comeback with a controller and a blunt between his lips. He sat down handing it to me and turned on the system. I watched him for a bit but then realized I'm probably acting weird, and he knew I liked him so it was awkward already, but he was the one who wanted to be friends after all.

"What you trying play?" He asked passing me the blunt I looked at it then looked at him, he rolled his eyes took another hit and tried again. This time I took it then hit it a few times he was still looking at me.

"What?" I said as I looked at him.

"Fuck mane , what you wanna play?" I shrugged hitting it a few times then passed it to him he was clearly aggravated and I wasn't helping so I just laid back chewing my bottom lip, then it started bleeding and it turned to sucking on my bottom lip. He passed me the Blunt then I watched as he walked away and just sat there smoking,soon enough he returned and put a game in, should've known. Bumass 2k. He went to the kitchen then and came back with a cup.

The game was okay- he was just better than me which made it annoying but, maybe him beating me would make him feel better. He took a sip of whatever was in his cup, apple juice maybe who knows I ain't ask. But when he took another sip swished it around then put it down I knew it wasn't apple juice. I peaked my head up a bit to look in as he was busy picking his two players.

"Onyx?" I mumbled.nothing. I tapped on his basketball shorts he changed into when he got back and his head turned licking his lips he looked at me. I passed him the blunt he waved his hand like he didn't want it and looked back to the screen.

"Put it on the table" he said as he still picked his team .Indecisive ass.

"What's in your cup?" I asked scotching up.

"Wanna come kiss it off my lips?" My eyes Went wide and I looked up to a smirking Onyx.

"Nah, but you can have a sip" I blinked

"That's not what I asked- you filled this cup up like 2 times within 10 minutes of getting here" his eyes didn't move from my face, I huffed sitting back.

"Whatever Onyx" I grumbled again. I watched him- I watched his crazy ass throw his remote controller across the room and then pick up his cup mumbling shit, he took another sip

"I don't need your ass talking to me like I'm some child" his voice growled out ,My heart had sped up his eyes cold like earlier.crazy ass.

"You're acting like one- what the fuck" I mumbled getting up, "give me that cup" I said crossing my arms.

"Mane ion gotta give you shit" he said sucking his teeth.

"Onyx obviously it's not doing anything good so give it to me" I argued back but he didn't move one bit.

"How you gonna come in my house and tell me what to do" I looked at him,

"Sense I met you all you seem to be doing is hurting yourself for what nigga?" I yelled, "obviously you aren't all there in the head, because I shouldn't have to watch over ya

Ass, neither should Jermain or Yonna" he just blinked his clenched jaw.

"Shut yo ass up,you don't know shit" he spat through his jaw which was still closed. His arms were shaking a bit, Something ain't right.

"Don't tell me to shut up, I'm trying help you" I mumbled pushing him. He pushed me back onto the couch then slammed the glass that had his what I assumed some sort of liquor in it to the opposite wall breaking that shit.

"I already told your ass I ain't want you, that Comes with ya help too. Fucking wishing on nothing" he spat finally I just sat there mouth open, heart broken— well yeah I knew he ain't want me like that, but this nigga said he wanted to be friends.

"F-f-fuck off"I stuttered, and it made me sound like a little bitch, this crush made me act like one. I hated it. I hated him. Even though his facial expression dropped I kept going "You said you wanted to be friends, n-n-not me. And when I t-try to h-h-help you act like a fucking idiot. Then I d-don't give a fuck no more" I announced, if I let to much words slip out then I know I would've really cried,and I don't want to do that over something so dumb. When I walked past he grabbed my arm but I pushed him off walking out the door and across his grass. I got in my house and nobody was still home which was good, I went into my room and groaned a bit.

X box
I'm sleeping over still, be over inna hour

I tossed my phone on my bed and went to take a shower. I felt dirty, but I usually did after something negative happened. Like a shower can wash away the hurt. I don't know if it can but it was better than being angry. Kaizey was indeed right. That nigga don't give two shits about me, and I barely know him— tss . If only they listened to me I would've saved myself from all of this. But NOO I let them gas my head up. I let my head rest against the shower.

Onyx

I slammed the door behind him walking past the broken glass and controller, I lost my shit tonight. But not that bad- it's been worse. Usually I try to walk away, but every time I realize I'm mad, I already did something. Genacis already sucking his teeth at me, I can't get in no relationships with that kid for another reason. I already choked his ass out, and even though I see fear flash through his eyes his mouth stays consistent. Only time it isn't when they stutter come out, I smirked as I poured another cup of Hennessy, I dropped a shot of Bacardi in it this time and mixed the dark and the light liquors. Technically this would only add fuel to the fire— I knew that. But tonight Niggas brought Farrah ass in front of me. The crackwhore who broke my heart
when I was a sophomore.i remember when my momma almost put me out for getting that hoe pregnant. I even gave up basketball to get a job and she come back winter break, cracked out and no baby— tss beating her ass was the worst probation they could give a 15 year old kid, fuck I only hit her twice, the drugs just got her skinny all she had was bones. Then her ass had the nerve to leave after rehab— headass ran away, And I got my ass beat for hitting a girl but fuck that- My mom was strung out my whole life, and my father? Her supplier. Farrah did some fucked up shit, she knew how I felt about that drug, saw what it did to people and still tried to fucking take it. I took a long sip of that drink before my fist hit the wall—then it kept flying towards the wall and I couldn't stop, the pain numbed out and it was hit after another, until I let Out a loud scream I threw everything off the island and then folded my hands resting my head on it. My phone was ringing in the other room- I picked up my head and looked around my fist still bleeding,  I looked at Jermains name popped up rolling my eyes and picked up my car keys instead

To main
Tell coach I'm taking a leave, a nigga going to check himself in somewhere tn.