Inconvenient To Adore (bxb)

XLI

Kendrell
A month later, Saturday

I took a sip of the liquor which burned my throat the whole way down- but how else we finna start the day? I had to drink so I didn't relapse but I assume getting hooked on something else is defeating the purpose.

"Aye man you heard from Nyx?" Jermain asked and I shook my head as I looked back towards the t.v.

"Its 9 am -come on what's wrong?" Main asked as his eyes filled with concern. Jermain was always trying make sure everyone was good. A blessing and a curse because if you worried about everyone else you often forget yourself.

"I'm ii, it's Saturday I can't have fun?" I scoffed

"This ain't fun, this alcoholism" he warned.

"I'm fine ii?" I spat back at him he stayed there for a moment before walking out. I wanted to get high- with every bone in my body. I haven't went to practice in three days, I'm pretty sure Main been telling coach something up because usually he will show up at your door cursing and yelling. At first people probably thought it was cause of Xavyer I mean people probably still do think that. But shits deep, We thought my auntie was beating cancer but it's beating her, My ain't been my biggest supporter especially after I came out me and my mom drifted apart more. Ain't no way for me to help her, I mean I could go back to selling with Arrius but than I'm around it to much- ain't no way I can control myself. So here I was, I was gonna leave school but my auntie told me to stay- someone in the family gotta make it out the south, my auntie also loved the city and even though I don't live there to her I'm close enough.

Shit around me was crumbling, Nyx been going to therapy but I don't know if it's helping him or making him worse.I wouldn't say better- he was more incontrol of his episodes before he went. I can tell it's hurting Genacis because Onyx is destroying himself. Genacis doesn't even know probably half of it- I don't either Jermian the only one because he witnessed it with his own eyes. But Onyx don't want help- he never did, he doesn't like people in his business a way we always got along- but it's obviously breaking him. He barely even talk no more just in his head.

I heard the door slam shut- Jermain been driving himself crazy trying to help everyone. He always tries to do that.'we the big three we can't give up now' is all he tries to say- I know he got his own shit going on because Yonna been acting weird as well. She's been stressed and not her bubbly self. Everyone is falling apart and we can't keep helping each other. We need to focus on ourselves. I heard the door open again and soon Yonna came in my room.

  "Lemme get a sip" she said as she pulled down the hood on the side of her face, she had a mark on her cheek but it looked as if it's been there for days.

  "You got in a fight or something?" I asked she sat on the end of my bed.

  "Yeah with Farrah" she mumbled before taking the bottle out my hand.

  "You beat her ass?" She shook her head

  "Last time she called the cops- I'm not doing that shit again and when I try to leave her she act all depressed and shit ion know what to do Drell" Yonna voice cracked as she soon took a big gulp Of my liquor.

  "That's besides the point- how you been?" She asked I shrugged not wanting to go into detail and silence filled over the room. A loud banging on the door a few times and than it stopped- than continued again."You finna get that?" Yonna asked and I shook my head, she sucked her teeth before shoving the bottle in my arms and exiting the room.

    I took a gulp before my door swung open and a tired looking Onyx came in the doorway.  He plopped down on the bed before pulling out a blunt and lighting it not saying anything.