Survivor mode on

Beets

July 14. Dear diary,

I already told everyone, I'm going back tomorrow. I gotta, I need to be there, with Xylen and Nol. Nol became a close friend. I wasn't sure to talk about him yesterday cause he's just actually a guy I had lunch and fought with a few times in class. He's pretty good eith the bow but he sucks with the sword. He likes using the dagger. He's 15 now. His birthday was a couple of weeks ago. He's actually cute. He flirted with me a few times but I rejected him. I could've flirt back but I'm still in love with Brooke. I love him too but less. I love boys and girls. At least that's what I think.

I'll go play chess with Noah and I'll be back soon.

I realised that I could write there. I could look up on the guide from the underground how to make paper and ink to write. I'll be back. I'm back. All I gotta do is grab some used sheets of paper and cut it in little pieces; then smash it with water; drain the wster and mold left of the "mixture" it in a "sheet form". I'll make a sheet of paper of the size of you so then I can add it with glue or something. It shouldn't be difficult. You're actually supposed to blend the paper with water but it's a bit difficult when electricity's not there anymore.

The ink? I gotta look it up in the guide again. I have smash a beet and use the ink that's left from it with, for example a feather, to write. It should be fun. I hope Xylen helps me to do it. Anyways I'll have to come here every month, otherwise dad won't let me stay there. I shouldn't tell him to leave once I'm at Trikova cause if he doesn't, the guards could kill him.

I wanna go back to Trikova. I just miss it so much. I'll be there before sunset. The only thing I don't wanna do is being a second.

It's not that easy to be a second. There are so many things you gotta do. You can't look weak. You must stand straight and walk making everybody respect you. You're clothes gotta be perfect, as your hair. You have to make everybody happy, give them advices and helping them. No matter what they need, you have to know how to solve their problem. Then you also have to make the xhumbra look good so I brushed her hair. It grew a lot since she shaved her head. Her black sking and her curls go really well with a nice white leather dress.

At Trikova there was these healer that I just remembered. He gave me like 15 classes of healing. He taught me how to give RCP and make a tourniquet. That was most of it. He also taught me about a few medicinal plants, poisonous ones and their antidote. I don't remember almost anything but it could serve for a war or battle. With a war I mean a war between the islands. They call every town like that cause they used to feel surrounded by nothing. There are 14 of them including Trikova.

Now I gotta go if I wanna be there before sunset. Bye. I'll write tomorrow with beets.

July 15. Dear diary,

I don't have much time to write cause we have to turn off the candles at 10 PM so everyone on the outside sees that we're asleep and it's like 9 PM. It's weird. I don't know why, I guess that they just, honor us?

I met Nol. He's such a nice guy. I think that I should really hit on him. He's hot, he's strong and independent. He probably kisses real good. He's eyes are beautiful. They are like a greenish grey.

I can't believe I really like Nol, I have this feeling in my heart when I think of him. It's not the same I have with Brooke. Whenever I think of her, I feel like I'm flying and my heart stops. It's just different. They are both nice people and good survivors. It's all I need. They both have like a pretty look a like behavior. I think that I'm bisexual or pansexual. I hope Xylen helps me to find out. Oh nowin. I have to come out to my dad. He'll probably be ok with it. My aunt was a lesbian. She died about 4 years ago. She was really nice with me.

I'm hungry. Should I go eat something at the market? They have nice things too but you have to trade for them, thing that you don't have to do at the government eating place. It should have a name. Anything but the city has a name here. It's like you wanna say "I'll go to the..." and you think, what is it? I call market the trading place and I should call eater the government eating place.

I'll go, grab a bite and come back. I'm back.

I run into Nol and I flirted on him! -Nol? How are you?- and I grabbed his hand- he winked an eye at me and left. I think he'll hit on me too tomorrow. I gotta go sleeping. Xylen told me to turn off the candle in 5 minutes. Bye.