Survivor mode on

Nol

July 16. Dear diary,

It's my first handmade sheet of paper. It's weird. It's like a paper but not. It's thicker and writing with a feather and beets doesn't make it easier.

Today I'm not writing at night. It's like 5PM. HE KISSED me, he finally did. It was a warm kiss. I felt it right there, in my heart. He's a good guy. He's got a few braids and his light brown hair goes about 3 inches below his jawline. He wears dark clothes that go pretty well with his white skin color. Nol is tall for me (about 5 and a half feet) but Adzila said that we go really well together even though I'm short (5.25 feet) . She's my "friend too".

Adzila is 14 too. She's got long hair that goes for like miles. She's like freaking rapunzel with that. She's a natural redhead. She's like the total redheaded, full of freckles and green eyes. She used to go with me to fighting class till I became Xylen's second and she started training me in a personal class.

Xylen's coming, I'll be back soon. I'm back.

Xylen came with bad news. A messenger came and declared war. From Myirian. They are allied with 2 other clans. Those are Wonem and Agneu. We should get allies said Xylen. How can we not stop the war? Xylen is sending a group to ask for allies. We'll ask Thot, Klin and Lhutor to join us. I know where all of them are cause I went to island culture class. Xylen will try to keep the other islands away. She'll ask only those cause those love fire and are close to us besides we make deals with them almost every week.

Going to war could kill everyone in Trikova or kill everyone from Myirian. The main island, Sawon wouldn't approve this war but they can't stop it. Wait, we could tell them to protect us. No, we can't. That would make us cowards thing not approved neither by Sawon nor Xylen. If anything happens to Xylen, Nol would become my second and I would become the xhumbra. I don't really want to be a xhumbra. It's already hard to be a second...

I'm back from dinner. I was bored so I went to the market and trade a squirrel for cow meat. I could've trade the squirrel for more rats but they taste weird. I keep the animals that I hunt with salt that I trade at the market. I don't know how much you can keep the meat with salt but I always trade them as quick as I can. Actually, I'm able to ask for what I want whenever I want cause I'm the second. I shouldn't go hunting anymore but I like it.

Nowin! There's a sick girl. Jyusla. She's 10. I saw her vomiting through the window. I gotta go and I'll be back as soon as I can.

She was poisoned. She's not ok. There's no antidote for the poison she drank. The healer said that her symptoms tell us that. This thing's got no antidote. She just has to get through it but she probably will die. We have to wait till the symptoms go away and we'll know the poison is out of her system. I'm sorry for her.

I wanna sleep but I can't cause that ritual that we need to turn our lights off at 10 PM. I just wish there was a way to stop everything. I get this feeling for Nol and I can't get it of my mind, but when I see him I see her too. I just wish there was a way to find her or at least to know that she's alive, that she survived.

It's been a year since this whole thing started. More than a year. This started about my birthday. How did this happened? How could nobody solve this? We all thought that this was a few days, maybe weeks or even months thing, but years? What if nobody solves this shit? I'm losing it, sorry.

It's pretty late. I should stop writing but I can't. I really can't. This whole thing is killing me. I can't stop thinking about the war, Nol, her. And it's time to turn off the lights. We don't have a clock so thry won't notice if I keep writing for 5 minutes.

OMG! He came and kissed me again. I just can't believe this. My first kiss, in the middle of the apocalypse. How could I still lovr after everything. After I spent 300 days training to be tougher. It's just amazing how human brain works.

Now it's too late to keep writing. Bye