I wrote songs from tragedies

Dying in LA

We lay in bed talking about this and that. Him trailing my spine with his fingers again. It's actually pretty comforting but I'm not going to tell him that. My thing is playing with his fingers when our hands are intertwined. Which seems to be constantly. I was losing myself in him I know it but I could never let him know. He's my best friend that's all. That's all he can ever be...

"You ok sky? You seem deep in thought". He says as his fingers dance from my spine to caress my face, his face looks worried. "I'm fine". I say plastering a fake smile across my face. "No your not skylar what's up?".
"Since when do you call me by my full name urie?". He laughs and then becomes serious again. "Talk to me.". His thumb runs across my face wiping away tear I didn't even know was there. I'm crying...
"Nothing". He pulls me up so we are sitting up and twists himself round so we are sitting facing each other. "Talk now. And don't give me this I'm fine bullshit. Tell me what's wrong". I turn away from him and lay back down only for him to bounce out of the bed and pull me down with him. He chucks a jumper and my pants at me and my shoes. "Get dressed we are going for a walk". He pulls a hoodie over his head and throws his shoes on before walking over to the driver. Asking him to pull over.

He intertwines his hand with mine and pulls me off the bus. "Urie where are you taking me?". He stays solent and drags me through a bunch of trees to a meadow. With beautiful flowers and a small waterfall with beautiful soft green grass flowing all around. And the sky is so clear every star is on show like a firework display. "Wow". Is all I manage to say. He sits down and then lies flat on his back, I do the same. "Tell me what's on your mind little flake". He says softly looking into my eyes. "Nothing". I look away he just hooks his finger under my chin and turns my face back to face his. "Tell. Me. What's. Wrong!" He says punctuating each word. I look down as the tears start to fall. I inch closer looking into his eyes our breathing changes. Lips inches away they touch barely his eyes close. I can hear his heart racing. He can probably hear mine too. He moves closer to me wrapping his hand around my neck. Something snaps me back to reality I jump to my feet and run back to the bus leaving him there stunned.

I grab my stuff and run to the nearest train station without so much as a note. I hear the screech of brakes behind me as I enter the station I run through the doors to the ticket booth. "One ticket to London please?". I say taking out my credit card. Suddenly I hear people talking loudly girls screaming. What the hell is going on.
I turn around. Brendon...

"Sky! Hey sky!". He says running toward me I put my card into machine quickly typing in my code I grab the ticket with a quick thank you and run. "Sky!" He says voice breaking. I stop dead in my tracks. Sobbing I try to move but I just can't, he sounds broken. He grabs my hand and drags me around the corner into an office and slams the door shut.

"What the hell?". I don't look up just at my hands that are trembling. "I, I have to go brendon. I can't do us. I mean this. Ok? This is all very nice and I. I will find a way to pay you back for everything but I, I have to go b,b...back home". I say crying. "No! You don't just get to shut me out and run home without so much as an explanation. After then meadow. What do you want? What is going? I can't figure you out."

I snap. "I want you that's the thing I want you so bad. And I can't have you. Your married. I got so caught up in the high you gave me. You make me feel so free so happy so at peace. You make me smile and laugh like no one ever has. Your were my best friend from the instant I met you. And I knew right then that my life without you wouldn't be one worth living. When your hand is in mine I feel whole. When your fingers dance across my spine I feel at home I feel safe when I'm in your arms. And what's going on is I'm in love with you. Like an idiot. And the meadow was me not thinking I wanted you so bad it practically tore me apart to walk away from you. Your married and I can't do this. I can't sit here and feel this way and go wherever the hell your taking me. I can't and you can't ask me to either. So I'm going. Goodbye brendon I'll never forget you.". I kiss his forehead and leave the office.

I walk onto the train he runs hand to the window. Tears falling from his eyes. I put my hand to the window, crying. I mouth I love you as the train starts to move. He bangs on the window shouting don't leave to me. I shake my head and just continue saying I love you over and over again until the train finally goes to fast for him to keep up. He stands there his hands in fists at his side. And marches out of the station. My phone rings.

"Brendon don't...". He shushes me. "Don't you dare you said your piece and walked off before I had a chance to say anything.". I gasp between sobs. "You decided you can't do this and never even asked me how I felt or what I wanted. I asked you to stay. I begged you. Yes I'm married but did you ever think maybe, just maybe me and my wife are actually in the middle of divorce talks. No you didn't. You shut me out again like always. You never even thought to ask me how I felt sky and that hurts.". "Brendon..." He cuts me off again. "No you don't get to say anything right now. I'm in love with you too idiot. But no you couldn't just wait and actually talk to me like an adult. You make me feel like the way you feel about me.  From the instant I saw you, you didn't see me but I saw you. My heart stopped beating for a second. You are my best friend. Please come back to me". His voice breaks on the last part.