I wrote songs from tragedies

Victorious

Somehow I thought I could survive I knew at some point he was going to go home. In all the happiness and kisses i'd foolishly fooled myself into forgetting, into getting attached when it was never built to last no matter if he was free or not. As he put it. I'm an idiot, for honestly believing in a fairytale that's all it was a temporary fantasy. Idiotically I had done the exact thing I swore i would never do. I just kept breaking my heart over and over inside my mind thinking of ways this could work, I'm not a fool who was I kidding? Time to get back to reality as soon as he got home he'd be back with her in a heart beat. I'd be the term 'what happens on tour stays on tour'. Don't cry sky, don't cry. I repeat in my head like stuck record, he keeps looking at me stuck behind the band. Whereas I am in front. 

He shouts my name continuously, I ignore him pretending that I haven't heard him. Frustration colours his face, as he tries to make his way to me constantly blocked by the bodies of his band mates which almost makes me giggle. We head inside and down a couple of hallways, through a ton of doors to a massive studio kitted with all the latest technology and gear. Instruments I could only dream of owning. I reach out with my hand to touch one before I think twice and rip it backwards. Smooth sky...so smooth. I internally roll my eyes at myself. "Your allowed to touch it you know." I jump and playfully smack at him he catches my hand and kisses it. I smile, it not reaching my eyes. "So is this it? The place you wanted to take me to." I ask looking any place but his face. 

"Sky, talk to me. Instead of running away like you do all the time actually try using that lovely cocky mouth of yours for a change". I'm not cocky... "I am talking". He sighs. "You know that's not what I mean. We were talking about the future. Well I was and then you run off. Ignore me and then dance around me like I'm a fire who's going to burn you if I get to close. So will you please just tell me what's on your mind. Did I scare you talking about the future?". I shake my head trying not to cry. "Then what's wrong little flake?". The tears begin falling down my face. He takes my hand leading me to the other room. "C'mon little flake what's wrong?". He wraps his arms around me. "Your leaving. Just like everyone else. Everyone always leaves, or they die. I'm clearly meant to be alone. I was an idiot for ever thinking any different I always do. I got attached like an idiot, I said to myself don't do it and yet I still do". He covers my mouth before I can go any further. "Stop. Right. Now! You are not an idiot and what in the world makes you think I'm going to leave you. And I'm glad you got attached, I'm glad I did too your the best thing that ever happened to me. So where the hell is all this coming from?".

"My mind. Brendon I might seem like I'm alright all the time and this big ball of happiness like you but I'm not. I'm in this constant battle with my head to stay positive. Some days to stay alive. It takes so much out of me that someday's I just want to lay in my bed and never move. To trust is a hard thing for me so when I do, I don't do so easily. I love and am in love with you. Then you said at the end of the month you are going home. Home... Leaving. I just...". A sob rocks through me till I can no longer speak. He says nothing for a while, kisses my cheek and leaves the room. I guess I was right. Everyone leaves...

About five minutes later he reappears looking tired. "Are you ok? Where'd you disappear to?". He wraps his arms around me again, I snuggle into him. Enveloped in his scent and warm arms. My safe space. "I'm ok just had to deal with a few things". "What things? If you don't mind me asking". I say against his chest. "Us". He simply states kissing my forehead. I sit up to look at him. He half smiles. "What do you mean us?". He sighs wiping his eyes. "Well I'm not leaving you. But I also can't stay here. So I had to see if I could figure out that problem. Only came up with one solution". What did this mean? One solution didn't sound too good...

"What's that solution" I barely whisper to him afraid of the answer. He says nothing for a while as the clock ticks away in the background. I cannot stand it, please do not be what I think it is I repeat inside my head. I can't stand the silence...

"Brendon will you please tell me what you came up with? Please!". He takes my face in his hands looking me straight in the eyes. They are dark full of love, passion. He kisses me gently, I sit there resolute against his lips. His tongue pleads against my lips. I groan and give in. They part slightly as he wraps a hand in my hair pulling me closer. His lips trail down my jaw to my collar bone, I can't help but moan as his slight facial hair tickles across my neck. He laughs against my neck, which just makes me moan more as the vibrations of his voice tickle through me. He playfully nibbles my neck, I growl at him. That's just a dirty move urie I think to myself as his lips cover mine again. I push him back my mind just clear enough to ask "What's the solution?". I say through my teeth mind barely in the room anymore.

"Come live with me in America?".