Silence

Chapter 24

           Issac and I are now watching Spider-Man Homecoming and talking about how cute Tom Holland is.

"So Issac what's Dylan life story he told me yours so what's his?" I say asking Issac.

"Well he told me that you know about his cuts so I'll start there" he says.

"Well he started cutting cause of Stasia and I back in 6th grade before I was out. I had to live with my uncle cause my dad was in the hospital and my mom had to stay with me and wouldn't have time to take care of me. But one day while I was watching Troye Sivan's Blue Neighborhood Trilogy. I was watching the kisisng scene and I then began to cry" he says and gets a sad look on his face.

"Issac is that when-"

"My uncle was watching the whole time and punched me in the stomach and kept calling me a fag" he interrupts me to say.

"So you and Stasia and Dylan you all just cut"

"It's not as simple as that after that he outed me to my parents they told me they didn't care. But I couldn't accept the fact that I was gay so I began to cut myself. I met Stasia and we connected on an emotional level and she told me about how she cuts too. When we met Dylan he was going through depression cause he lost his house and his mom was always drinking so we all would just cut together. Now thinking back to it that was probably the most bizarre thing we ever did. I stopped after I accepted myself. Stasia stopped after 8th grade. But Dylan still cuts regularly but hasn't for a while" he explains.

"That's all so terrible what you all have been through so much" I say and hug him.

"It gets better over time" he tells me and I hug him one more time.

"Well at least now you get to kiss a hot girl whenever you want"

"Who?" he says and I kiss him again and we both laugh.

"Josie I had fun today you me, Stasia and Dylan should hangout more" he says and I nod.

"I wish my life were more simpler and drama didn't come to me at every corner" I say as I grab my phone.

"Fuck our lives" Issac says and pauses the movie.

"Fuck our lives" I say back and give him a hug. I say goodbye to his mom and they walk me to my car.

Tomorrow was Wednesday which meant my family would get a list and we all go shopping together for Thanksgiving.

It was our tradition we'd each get carts and split the list up and each get the stuff on the list.

I showered then I couldn't sleep so I texted Ryan. He asked what I did today but I didn't want him to kill Issac so I lied and told him I went to the mall with my mom.

Why was I even still trying to make things work with Ryan. We're too different and he doesn't want me for me he wants me for my body.

He probably wasn't any better than Benyamin.

But I stayed positive and asked if our group could hangout sometime soon.

I know he probably just wanted it to just be the two of us but I wasn't comfortable with that anymore.

I then sent him a sleeping emoji and told him I was going to bed. He sent me a heart emoji and I then fell asleep.

           After going shopping with my family I'm drained out and all I wanna do is sleep or eat Pringles.

But I decided to text Stasia asking how she is.

She replies with fine and then asks if I can FaceTime. I call her and we start talking about school and how hot Dale is.

"Stasia I need to tell you something it's weird but funny"

"What?"

"Issac and I kissed well it was like a makeout but we kissed though more than once" I say and hear her gasp and then hear her start to laugh.

"Wait why?" She said through laughs.

"He was saying how he hadn't kissed a girl since 7th grade. I mean he's hot and I thought why not and he wasn't a bad kisser. But his mom walked in on us" I tell her and I hear her laugh even louder.

"Josie don't fall for Issac I did that once the last girl he kissed was me" she says and I'm shocked.

"Wait it was you what happened?"

"Well I met him and he was all depressed like me so I fell for him. I thought he was cute and really sweet but when I kissed him after I told him how I felt he told me he was gay" she says and gets awkwardly quiet.

"Well we gotta help him get a boyfriend it's the least we could do" I tell her and she agrees.

           I woke on Thursday morning to the spell of my family's traditional breakfast. Fine I couldn't smell it from my room but I walked downstairs and saw my mom cooking.

She was cooking Belgium Waffles with chocolate chips. I turned on my phone and saw and interesting text from Davina.

It was a picture from yesterday of Ryan and Nina kissing.