Silence

Chapter 20

           I'm only 14 years old why did all guys want to use me.

"Ryan" I say breaking out of the kiss.

He looks at me and I tell him I needed to get home. It was already 4 in the afternoon.

"I'll walk you but don't you want to shower so you don't smell like pool" he says and laughs a bit.

"No it's fine I'll manage" I assure him and grab my clothes and change back into them. I smelt like chlorine water but I'd just shower and wash my clothes before my parents notice.

I tell him goodbye and I felt a little uncomfortable after leaving.

Cause after he got towels for us to use he said we could go to his room. I thought we'd just talk and chill but then he was saying stuff about my hair and stuff and then we're kissing. I've seen a bunch of shows where girls and guys kiss so I tried to do what the girls do.

I put my hand on his shirtless body and kissed him back. I'm not surprised he was good he's had experienced.

Those experiences were with the group of girls I'm supposed to call my friends.

           As I walk into my house I feel guilty I had used some of his mom's
perfume to get the pool smell off. I felt guilty for lying. I didn't even know what Ryan and I were.

Also I'm pretty sure he was a little drunk or high while we were hanging out. No wonder he took long to get his speaker.

I shower and then I put my clothes in the washing machine and clean them.

I open my phone and see notifications and open snaps and see something from Issac.

He texted me saying he didn't trust Ryan so I FaceTimed him.

"Why don't you trust him" I ask him.

"I get a gay vibe from him" he tells me and I roll my eyes.

"You get a gay vibe from all guys" I remind him and begins to tell me his theory.

"Ryan has a big ass ego he's trying to keep but he's gay or at least bi and is using you to protect himself" he explains and I'm officially annoyed.

"How about you fuck off and leave him alone okay you don't know anything about him" I yell hoping I'm not yelling too loud or my mom will come in.

"Josie what the fuck I actually have had classes with since like kindergarten maybe you're the one who doesn't know anything about him" Issac says and then hangs up on me.

           I walk into my math class and Lucy could tell I was on edge.

"What's wrong did you oversleep?" She asked and I realized I forgot to put on makeup and do my hair.

I was wearing an oversized t shirt with sweatpants. What Issac told me completely put me on edge.

How well do I know Ryan?

"Josie!" Mrs. Ringwald yells and I look at her confused.

"I'm taking role please pay attention" she says and I take out my notes.

Gym's my next class which I had with Lucy, Ryan and Scott. I knew Ryan was going to ask me what was wrong so between classes I washed my face.

I took my hair out of it's messy bun and used a brush to make it look somewhat nicer.

I walk into the locker room and put on my gym clothes and put my hair into a ponytail.

We have to do these stupid fitness tests which meant I'd have to run back and forth at least 50 times. Do 25 push-ups, reach as far as I can for sit and reach, and hold a plank for 3 minutes.

Lucy and I pair up and I let her go first as I monitor her work.

I look to my side and see Ryan and Scott messing around until our teacher yells at them.

As we're all done for the day and walking back to the locker rooms Ryan walks towards me.

"Josie hey I wanted to know if you're free again this weekend" he asks me.

"No I'm having a sleepover with the girls but maybe some other time" I tell before practically running to the locker room.

"Hey Luce can you and the girls please have a sleepover at one you guy's house" I beg and she laughs.

"Ryan getting on your nerves"

"A little bit" I confess.

           In drama we learned of the winter play which was Alice in Wonderland and Davina told me she was going to audition.

"I either want to play Alice or the white queen" she exclaims and I see the look on Dylan's face and then we all start laughing.

"Dylan you should play the mad hatter you're already mad" I say and then take it back.

"Likewise" he tells me basically shutting me up.

There was no way anyone was ever going to put me on a stage to sing with someone.

The rest of the day was dull since Stasia was sick today and Issac was mad at me. So I just sat with Dylan but sadly Issac left as soon as I sat down.

"Issac told me what happened you didn't have to be so rude to him"

"He was basically saying Ryan is gay" I argue.

"Well it's Issac if you actually talked to him like I do you'd know what he goes through" he says and I'm even more confused.

"What do you mean goes through what about you and everything you've been through" I say and he looks hurt but it fades.

"Well after he came out gay his grandpa killed himself and his uncle beat him whenever his parents weren't around. He's lucky that his parents accepted him and still love him. So before you try to compare anyone's situation to his I think you gotta learn first" he yells and then grabs his stuff and goes.

Fuck My Life.