Beyond my Beating Heart

Chapter twenty three: the talking, the listening

Play Intention by Royse for this chapter!

I feel my cheeks heat up and my mouth get dry. Love. It's a strong word. And for me it's stronger than hate. The fact that Jett has said such a thing makes my heart feel something it's never felt before.

"I mean... I uh..." Jett stutters, realizing what he's said.

"Did you mean it?" I ask genuinely, whispering. The white noise becomes a bit louder as I get more stressed, and if he doesn't answer soon, the moment will be completely ruined.

"Um, I, uh... yeah?" He replies sheepishly.

I smile up at him and speak, "you're a dork. I love you weirdo."

"I feel like I need to go out and get you flowers or something." He confesses, and I just laugh a bit.

"You know what you could do... help me get these plane tickets if we want to go so desperately. I have some money saved up, but I'm making you buy your own ticket. Unless our impatient asses wanna drive all the way there."

Jett huffs and sighs, "I guess. You have a point, but when would we do this? It's pretty spontaneous."

"I'm not sure," I tell him honestly, "but I don't really have a life outside of therapy appointments so I'm pretty much free every weekend."

"And football season did just end... we could go next weekend if that works. The biggest thing I'm worried about is asking Nana and Nanty. They're gonna kill me if I don't say anything until the last second."

***

It's been one week since Jett and I decided to embark on a weekend of confrontation in California. My stomach churns as I look out the window to my right, at the runway. The pilot finishes his speech, and we begin the ascent.

I look to me left up at Jett's face and squeeze his hand, "Are you ready?" I ask softly.

"I kinda have to be. It's too late to turn around now." He says, groaning.

"Well, I guess you're right," I say, "and it's probably too late to ask, but to you get plane sick?"

He facepalms before replying, "No, but if I do, I'll blow chunks all over you."

"Fuck you."

"I wish." I hear him faintly mutter, and my eyes shoot up at him in pure shock. He realizes what he said, turns a bright crimson red, and sputters out complete gibberish before actually talking.

"I'm just gonna jump off of a bridge now."

My laughter fills the plane and I quickly stifle a snort, realizing that there are in fact other people around Jett and me.

"I swear to god Junie, isn't it just a perfect time to get everyone's attention." He mumbles, face turning a bright cherry red.

I flash him a cheesy smile and nudge his shoulder playfully. Happy to be here with only him, ignoring the nagging feeling of dread and nerves in my stomach.

***
The plane ride was smooth, Jett had fallen asleep on my shoulder right when we took off, and woke up by the end of the short flight. Although, I can't shake off the nerves. Even after we took off and got settled in, I couldn't sleep. I can't focus.

"June, you good?" He asks me, quickly glancing in my direction from the drivers seat of our rental car.

"I guess," I say, sighing softly, " I just don't know what to expect from this, yet it's silly for me to worry compared to what you have to do."