Beyond my Beating Heart

Chapter twenty six: Darling we'll be okay

Play "Drive" by JUDE. for this chapter
*read the authors note (in italics) at the end of this chapter for insights, questions, and conversations*

***

The drive from my father's house was relatively silent, not uncomfortable though. I looked out the window for most of the hour-long ride and occasionally glanced at Jett, who seemed mildly content while driving.

We pull into the parking lot of the nice hotel that Nana and Nanty so graciously insisted on paying for, and we unload our duffel bags out of the car and into the building.

"This is my first time in a hotel ya know," I say as we walk into the elevator, pushing the button to floor twenty three.

"Really? I feel like this is one of those things that everyone's done at least once." Jett says back, but before I can explain myself, the elevator stops at our floor.

Taking the bags in our hands, we end up in the room and I flop dramatically onto one of the beds, smiling wide at the dumb sheer fact that I'm in a damn hotel room.

"Wow, it really is your first time in a hotel," Jett says and smirks.

"Shut the hell up you buzzkill. Let me be happy."

"Oh! By all means, keep being happy, it's just entertaining to watch you be all nerdy miss 'it's-my-first-time-in-a-hotel."

"I hate you."

"Don't even lie Junie, you looooove me and you know it."

"You got me there."

"Once again, I'm right as always. Oh, and before I forget, how are you feeling, you know, after that whole encounter?"

He sits down beside me and faces me, "I guess I'm okay. I'm more relieved than anything, honestly. It was nice to know that he won't make the same mistake twice."

"I'm proud of you, you know? It's been a long year for you. I wish I was always there for you." Jett says, a somber tone laced in his usually chipper tone.

"Hey, quit worrying about things you can't change, what happened happened. It's in the past now and the best you can do is just focus on the future."

He sighs before sitting up next to me, "I know, but it doesn't change the fact that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most."

"You know, being here now is more than I could ever even ask for, it means everything to me that I have you. I don't spend my time dwelling in your past mistakes, and you shouldn't either. So let's put that behind us. Deal?" I tell him, reaching out my hand.

"Deal." He smiles before shaking my hand firmly.

I give him a sincere and small smile and pull him into a tight embrace.

I pull away and look at him, sucking in a deep breath before speaking, "Are you sure you're ready for tomorrow? You've been asking about me this whole time but tomorrow's gonna be huge for you. Will you be okay?"

"No." He answers quickly, "I won't. But it's just gonna be worse if I don't do anything about it. Like you said before, it's better to just rip off the bandaid, and in my case, the baindaid's been on for far too long."

"I guess you're right, and I'll be by your side the whole time."

"It means more than you know." He looks at me, squeezing my hand and smiling.

"What are Anthony's parents like? Do you... do you think they'll blame you for what happened?"

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, "I guess selfishly I hope not. But I would never expect them not to. It's ruined my life with guilt and I can only imagine how they feel knowing that the guy who killed their son is trying to apologize."