Imagine, a life filled with nothing but things within your control. All of us get to control out own story even though, just like every existing main character, there are things thrown in our path the we never even saw coming. For some that is losing a loved one or being allowed to choose a path in life that they never saw as a possibility. The beauty of this all is that you get to decide, except when you don't. Mine was you. You were not part of the plan. Continuing to breathe was not part of the story. My story was to be only sixteen short chapters long and yet here we are, making a mess of each other's lives and making it impossible to return to normal. It may have taken me longer to resize what I believe you knew from the start, but the good thing is that here and now I can't get you out of my head. Even when I acted like you weren't a part of my life all I could think about was you. I tried in so many was to make you jealous in order to see if you would chase after me again. Even though that didn't happen the only thing I regret is hurting you in the process of fixing my messy life. And then there was the day I realized I wanted you around again. We went to my favorite place and I kept trying to think of clever ways to get you to make a move, and then all of a sudden I made the jump and began opening myself again. Later that night I realized I wanted you to give me one more shot to not fuck everything up and when you kissed me and made all of my fears go away for the night I was as happy as I had been in awhile. And then even though you for some reason didn't think we were a thing we made another jump and spent the night with each other fo rah first tie ever. I don't think I've ever slept more peacefully. And then there was the night that even though you didn't know it, I planned on staying with you again.... Now there was a draw back of course but that night I didn't care because I wanted to be yours and I wanted you to be mine. I let you see me more clearly than anyone else had and I fell in love with you all over again when you were asleep and kept pulling me closer. Even though I haven't told you yet you should know that you own me. I only ask that if you have to hurt me that you do so quickly and as painlessly as possible. Let me go gently and if you decide to come back to me make sure your intentions are as pure as mine are now. I am in love with you. I think I am finally ready to let you in all the way and let you be with me like I wouldn't let you be before. Take me on an adventure and help me when I need it on the way, but try to understand I have to do somethings on my own and though you are there for me and I am there for you, sometimes we have to do things on our own in order to grow. Allow me to show you the quieter side of life. The side that I live in and for. The one that makes you slow down and breathe in the music and the feelings of everything and show me how to navigate your insane speedy way of life that makes you jump before you even realize you'll fall. Help me understand you like I understand myself. Hold me like there's not going to be tomorrow and exist as though there will be no further existence without each other.
