I Won't Give Up ~ Michael Clifford

0:29

***If you could, play the song near the ending when you see stars***

Michael;

It's been four months, four whole months since the last time I saw Declan, four whole months since the boys and I had left Vancouver for tour, and four whole months since I left Bree at the hospital. I get weekly calls about her but that's only weekly and I so badly just want to go back and stay there forever.

As of now, the guys and I are in Singapore, about to do our show and then we're off to Milan, Italy. We're all chilling backstage in our dressing room, the boys are in deep conversation about some game, meanwhile I'm in the corner, minding my own while in deep thought about everything that's happened in the past few months.

A day after Luke handed Declan over to Ricky's care is the day the lads and I flew back to London to prep for tour, believe me I didn't want to, but I kind of had to. I put up a fight for hours on end, meaning we missed our first flight, but they didn't give up so I had to go with the guys on the second flight our management booked us. Since we left Vancouver, I distanced myself from the boys and just kept to myself. I've been putting my mind to nothing else but preforming on stage, on my free time I'll be writing songs and in my journal that I keep for my deepest thoughts that I feel I can't talk about to anybody, and at nights, I'd lay in my bunk on the bus and do nothing but think and think.

"Let's take a shot, lads, and go fucking kill it on stage!" Pulling me out of my thoughts, Ashton yells in excitement, and grabs a double shot glass, then Luke and Calum follow suit and they all turn to me.

"Mikey, c'mon." Calum waves me over and I roll my eyes, but nonetheless stand up and take the shot glass in my hold.

"To another epic night!" Ashton yells, and we clink our glasses together and drink the clear liquid, clearly knowing it's vodka, and the boys walk out of the room while I stay back for another minute; I look at the door and then pour another shot for myself, wanting nothing more than to numb my pain, my heartache, my dark thoughts.

After four extra shots, I'm finally going to where the stairs are that lead to the stage, seeing the boys are pacing and waiting. I walk over there and we huddle up together, and do our little chant before walking onstage. Ashton goes first, then Cal, Luke and then me. I put on my mask, smiling and waving as I get behind my mic.

"Singapore, how you doing tonight?!" Luke yells into his mic and we start the show off with Valentine.

———

"Have a great night Singapore! Thank you for having us!" Ashton says smiling as we run off the stage and go have a shower so we can leave the venue and over to the airport to head to Milan.

"Wow, it gets me every time!" Calum says, jumping in one spot with a wide grin.

"I love doing this but I seriously can't wait to sleep." Luke says, chuckling.

"Hit the shower guys! Be ready in 20." Derek says, walking away from the dressing room and with that, we head to the showers.

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~ Skipping To Milan, Italy ~
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Luke;

We're now in Milan and I honestly want, well more like need, to talk to Michael. As we got to the hotel, I ask Derek to book me a room in with Mikey, and hopefully he doesn't shut me out like he has been the passed four months.

"Alright, dinner at 5 and afterwards you're free for the night, and also, free right now too. Just don't get kidnaped or go too far from the hotel." Derek says, we nod waiting for him to continue, "Also, room change. Instead of Luke and Ashton, it'll be Ashton with Calum and Luke with Michael. Here are your room keys, don't lose then."