I Won't Give Up ~ Michael Clifford

0:38

Bree;

I've been sitting in the waiting room for about half hour or so, contemplating on actually going into her room; do I really want to go in and see her? Everyone was saying we haven't been talking for almost 8 months now, and now that I'm here, I'm having major second thoughts.

Would she want to see me? Let alone, talk to me? I'm worried about rejection, from her. I push those thoughts aside and hope for the best as I knock on the door lightly and walk in after three seconds. The sight in from of me breaks my heart and makes me want to cry.

Sammy's laying there, a breathing tube is in her throat and she has IV's in her arms and bandages cover her arms. Ashton is laying down at her bedside on the chair, his light snores are heard and he's holding her hand.

I walk up slowly and tap lightly on Ash's shoulder, he stirs but doesn't wake up.

"Ash" I whisper, still nothing, so I lightly push his shoulder, "Ashton"

He stirs again and, this time, he sits up and groans. "Bree?"

"Hey..." I say, with a sad smile. "How is she?"

I'm scared for the response from Ashton but I know if I don't ask then I'll never know.

"Well... C'mere." He stands up, stretches and pulls me out into the hallway.

"So?..." My heart is racing so fast, I'm so scared to hear.

"Well, she almost didn't make it, if I didn't go check on her when I did, she wouldn't have made it." He took in a shaky breathe, "but, since I did and she's still here, she has to stay in the hospital for a few days and I'm staying behind."

"Ash, Derek wouldn't allow-" I start but he lets out a deep breath.

"-I already talked to him, he said that he could arrange a backup drummer until I'm ready to go back out, I also already put out a tweet explaining what's going on, with the most less details as possible. The fans understand."

By now, he has a pool of tears in his eyes and that's when I pull him in for a long, tight, sisterly hug; by then, he's balling his eyes out and his breathing is uneven, all I feel I need to do is run circles into his back as he sobs into my shoulder.

"I-I....Wh-what if... Fuck..." He pulls away from me and walks away a few feet. He stops in front of this one mirror and I get the memo, I run up to him and hold his arms back, just in case.

He's getting aggravated because he's trying to pull away, but in all my power, I hold him, and his arms, back.

"Do you think she would want you to do this?" I ask, I hope he stops what he's trying to do and he stops resisting, his arms drop to his sides.

"No..." He mumbles, tears fall from his eyes and he harshly wipes at them with a scowl.

"Exactly, she wouldn't want you to do anything, at all, to hurt yourself. Don't beat yourself up over this, at least you found her and saved her in time." I say, my heart is racing.

"That's the thing, I was saying earlier that.... If I didn't find her when I did, she wouldn't be here now." He says in a suprisingly calming tone, his gaze fixed on the floor then slowly his head comes up and his eyes meet mine. "What if I didn't find her.... Save her... What if I didn't get a call from her... She would've... Died."

I close my eyes to stop the tears from falling but they fall anyways, I couldn't imagine a life without Sammy, like fuck.

"Please, stop" I mutter, making eye contact with Ashton, my visions blurry and all he looks like is a blurred silhouette. "Don't think like that, it's heartbreaking."