her awakening

l Prologue l

                                                                                                  *

I protested over and over again to my father why I had every right not to move away from the hometown I had grown up in, even if the painful memories of my mother were left behind.

I was now sat in a plane flying to a hometown I barely knew; with relatives I had only met as a small infant. Feeling exhausted; I could feel my inner being slowly fade from my frail state. 

Closing my eyes, inhaling deeply to myself. It had been a month from now of my mothers passing. I could feel the water works, sting my vision.

Get a hold of yourself Lili, I thought angrily

 Slapping myself in the process. I wasn't half bothered by the thought of someone seeing how crazy I must look right now.

More or less you tend to lose a bit of dignity when you wallow up in a strange place.

Although the mere thought of my mother had made my body ache; my hands started to tremble slightly as I gripped onto my armchair in the plane. 

"Just breathe Lili" 

Reminding myself of my sole purpose in coming here. I inhaled much slower, and exhaled repeating the process a few times.

Remembering what Doctor Ruby had instructed for me to follow if I ever found myself feeling overwhelemed. 

"don't be afraid of her Lili"

Feeling anxious, I could see a dark figure come closer and closer

"It's okay Lili, she is your friend"

relaxing my limbs, and breathing, a ray of luminescent tint of blues radiated behind the figure.

"you are my Luna, make sure you tell her this, whenever you need her" Doctor Ruby assuring me, as the dark figure now stayed put.

"you are my Luna" I say quietly, opening my eyes.

I then watched intently as my hands that were distressed in colour, were now restored to the tan I grew familar of.

I often think back to the time my home was full of love and laughter. Is now an empty shell, a skeleton for a home.

My father had thought long and hard about where to send me, he wanted me to start fresh. 

But how can I start my life again, when I feel as if it has already ended?

A soft knocking sound, came from my door, I could feel my body tense, my heart pounded heavily against my chest. I stopped myself from breathing, relaxing my airways and concentration and focus to meditate.

I wasn't in the mood to comply with human contact, I could hear the shuffle of shoes make their way into my bedroom. The door eventually followed behind them.

Continuing my non breathing state, in my bedroom was me cocooned beneath a sea of blankets and darkness; I heard the sound of footsteps of shoes clink against the wooden floors, had now made there way to the windows, the sound of fabric gliding against metal, were of my curtains being opened.

 I continued in being silent, the weight of my bed had sunk on one side.

"Lili" 

 as they tugged onto my blankets

"Hey sweetie" 

Dad  I thought

Taking a sigh of relief, letting out a desperate gasp for air -

I pulled the blankets past my face; blinking and squinting from the bright light of the sun coatef every corner of my room was almost blinding.

I sat upright to look at my dad properly, who was sitting at the end of my bed. His appearance must have matched mine, dark circles, red nose from all the crying. Except my father was dressed in a suit.

"It's time kiddo" my dad said quietly

He pulled me into a small hug, I felt numb and unresponsive, from crying every night of my mothers passing. I then inhaled heavily returning my fathers embrace.

We had been living in a hotel temporarily; as dad's friend Mark was reconstructing our home. The damage of the fire; had taken everything from us, the memories, the laughter, the family, my mother.

When my eyes had finally adjusted to the piercing sunlight around me, my dad had already packed my suitcases for me. I didn't want to leave my father alone here, but he knew I wasn't coping. 

After my mothers death, I went to school and carried through my studies as if nothing happened; from the night before. I had completed my electives and compulsory papers for my last year of high school.

Practically ready for college; with scholarships been offered to me. However my dad was concerned that I was holding in my grief. He suggested taking a break for a few weeks before figuring out where to go from there.

I had been at home since, cooped up in my bedroom away from everyone and anyone. I didn't have any friends, yet people I never talked too or knew of my existence other than being the 'girl who's mother just died'.

Sighing to myself

I ran my index finger along a picture frame of my father, mother and I smiling at our favorite holiday resort.  A small smile twitched on the sides of my mouth - it was a photo I took of a family selfie, my dad was trying to tie his shoe and my mum was failing to get his attention for the photo.

I tucked the photo frame into my carry on bag; and headed to the bathroom to get ready.

I made my way down the stairs, to see my dad in the kitchen plating food for two plates. It still felt weird not having three plates every morning. Shaking the thought away.

"Jason took your suitcases already for you" 

"I made you yogurt and muesli in a bowl, and french toast with a drizzle of honey",

I returned his smile, as I sat my bag on the side of the chair I plopped myself in. My appetite was returning slowly, as I started to dig in.

We both sat quietly in the back of the vehicle as Jason drove us to the airport. 

********

"Hi there Miss, we will be boarding Oaks View in a few minutes" a flight attendant said with a smile

I nodded my head to her; and readied myself. I peered out the window beside me as the forest of trees were coated in mist; as if the heavens liked to rest here.

Author's note

Hey everyone <3

Join Lili in her journey in her parents hometown 

xx NeinAiko (Rea)

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