His Trouble Maker {P.J.M} ✅

CHAPTER 19

I stayed with Jungkook in his room because he said that he didn't want me alone. Joy could take care of me but he said that he can't take any risks. He thinks that I'm thinking about suicide or "stupid" things. Not going to lie but I feel cared for since he is acting this way. It shows that he really cares for me but now there's someone else who is trying to get involved with my life.

I do like it that they help me and try to help me but I hate it when they try to get involved. It's not that I don't want their help but I don't want them to get in trouble. Jungkook and the rest of the group got arrested, he was lucky because of his parent. Others didn't even have anyone to care for them.

Midnight fell upon us and we had to sleep, things can't be the same as before with me and jungkook. It's now a whole lot different when it comes to us two and a bed. I guess I have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right. I hope he is doing the same thing.

"umm junkook can i sleep on your small couch.... we cant sleeo together like we used to anymore.."

"why we do it all the time and just days ago i was shirtless and your head was on my lap.."

I will always feel comfortable around jungkook especially with my body. He never touched me in a way he shouldn't, he repects me and knows where I come from. He knows what happened to me and wouldn't do anything. Even if nothing happened to me he still wouldn't do anything. Jungkook is very respectful towards girls he knows his limits.

"i know but i.... have..... i have a boyfriend??"

Saying that I had a boyfriend was weird but I also questioned it because I didn't know if we were officially dating. We have sex, kiss, go out (well only once) act like one so I guess we are?

"why do you question it?"

"i dont know? we have sex... kiss... went out on a date..."

"then you are dating"

"i dont know ive never had a boyfriend before in my life so i dont know but i guess"

He understood and let me sleep on the couch. I know what your thinking why would he let a girl sleep on the couch?? Even if the girl he loves was in the same room, he would always choose his bed. No one will or ever change that because his bed is more important than anything.

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I couldn't sleep and it was five in the morning, sleeping wasn't on my list for the night. I don't know what was, everytime I try to go to sleep I end up thinking or over thinking things. Jungkook and the rest have been great help but to me it doesn't feel like it's enough.

My life wasn't that bad at the moment but I had way too many bad memories than good, the bad always took over even if I was happy.

Many times I would wish my siblings would come back but that won't happen. My brother became a CEO becasue I saw it on the news that he's opening a new hotel, my sister is now a stylist or designer who has an amazing line.

They moved on from life while I'm still stuck in the same place with the same problems. I want to go to a good university and get a nice job, get a house that could keep up with me but i'm still here.

I'm not saying that I wasn't proud of them but I wish I looked happy like they did. They seemed so sattisfied with their life that I wish mine was just like that. Their jobs aren't easy but it benefits a lot, they win good money and look smart.

With the clothes I wear I look poor and maybe homeless, the only time I look decent is when I wear my unifrom that looks very preppy.

I was looking at the news this morning because I had nothing else to do, jimin is with that girl and jungkook would get mad if I left without warnign him.

Joy and jungkook taught me how to use a computer and the t.v since I was never allowed to use the ones at my own home. It was confusing and irritating because I had no clue how to use them but managed.

I was looking for at least a small appartment or if not a place where it already had everything that was needed in a home. I was really serious about moving because I didn't want to return, not to a place where I didn't feel safe or happy.

Getting my own appartment meant that I nedded to get a job so I applied for one. The typical coffee shop where people or business people go so it could help with my money.

I wanted nothing that my mother bought me, everything she ever gave me I wanted to replace. From clothes to underwears I wanted nothing that remined me of her near me. Starting new meant to forget everything about my past. It would hurt but I was willing to start fresh and finally be happy.

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"cmon girl we have to go to school if ou miss you cant graduate!"

I didn't want to go to school because of the fear that my mother would be there waitng for me. She knows that I would never miss school not even if I was sick but it was all because I didn't want to be near her. I've never missed school in my life so it wouldn't hurt to miss a couple days.. maybe weeks.... or a month.

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"jimin im getting a job... i'll be moving soon..."

Couple weeks passed since the day I went crying to jungkook, I got the job but not the appartment I can't do that just yet.

My mother didn't bother looking for me, I went to school and she wasn't there. Maybe she was waiting for me to move out on my own so she won't seem cruel but she really is. Maybe if she went to look for me I would have a small feeling that she actualy wanted me home but no.

She doesn't want me alive at all and she said it herself she never wanted me in the first place. The papers said it and she said it, I was a mistake something they weren't expecting, someone they never wanted.