Be My Sunflower

Parking Lot blues

Months had flown by; months of arguing over FaceTime and on the phone with Joshua. Months of 12-14 hour days just sitting in a darkened room with headphones on. Months of only seeing my brother and Kory, I could go on and on but I won't.

After our fight Joshua had FaceTimed me, which I answered, and he apologized for accusing me of cheating. He said he's glad I never acted on it and that he believed me when I told him I only had platonic feelings for Erik.

I never told Erik a thing and I'd given him a lot of space because things weren't working out with his girlfriend and with Joshua on me we just drifted. However we'd set up a lunch this afternoon with Francesca after I got home. I hadn't seen them in months and missed them like you wouldn't believe!

Joshua was naturally unavailable but I did invite him just to not have any issues, luckily he declined. Erik texted me this morning about our lunch and I'd never responded, I didn't know what to say for the first time.

Time isn't passing by fast enough, see you in a few hours! Xxxx

I felt time wasn't passing fast enough either and hated that I wanted to see him more than anyone in the world right now. I wanted to hug him so hard, I hated that too. I just started hating my feelings and how I felt about Erik. I loved him, don't get me wrong I just felt like dealing with the consequences wasn't worth it.

I slept on the flight home, went home with Kory to an empty house and a strong odor hit me immediately.

"What the fuck is that smell?" I groaned, after dropping my bags by the door a dog came running down the hallway barking at me like I shouldn't be in my own house.

"Did he get a dog without you knowing?" Kory walked into the house further and groaned, "Found the source of that smell, he peed and pooped all over the place."

"Are you kidding me?!" As I rounded the corner the stench of urine and feces assaulted my nose and I gagged, pulling my hoodie over my nose. "Oh. My. God. I'm going to kill him."

"Josh or the dog?" Kory asked, unbothered by my statement.

"Both." I scooped the dog up, he was cute enough but getting a pet is a conversation when you're married to someone. I couldn't take care of an animal right now, and apparently neither could Josh.

I dropped the dog out the back door and shut him outside, his whimpers being blocked out by the music Kory had turned on. He loves a good vinyl record, the mellow music filled the house with positive vibes.

I grabbed my phone and texted Josh.

When did we decide on getting a dog? I came home to this and the house is covered in pee and poop.

He never responded, so after I scrubbed the entire house clean of every stain and odor...I tweeted about it. Juvenile I know but I knew he'd respond then.

Spending the day cleaning up dog poo and pee that has stained every corner of my house over the last month. Welcome home! 🐶😤😭

The responses I got made me mad and I had to put the phone down. Perks of having a puppy? Puppy days. Aww but he's so cute! Nobody understood my point, but I'm sure Josh would.

I grabbed a shower and clean clothes and headed to meet Francesca and Erik. I left the dog outside, frankly it wasn't the dogs fault but if Josh wasn't going to take care of him he needed to be outside.

(Later)
Dinner with Erik and Francesca had been lovely. We talked about Season one, our favorite scenes and co-stars and our hopes for a season two. Francesca's boyfriend had picked her up and that left me and Erik. We left rather soon after she had and he walked me to my car.