Be My Sunflower

Vidcon Disaster

Panel went great, Josh and Kory had come out on stage and sat on either side of me. Josh didn't really want to help me while on stage which made me annoyed and question why he bothered coming out if he wasn't into it. Rachel stepped in and helped and he just moped in the background, it was nerve-wracking because I was trying to include him like everything was okay, when it wasn't.

Afterwards he followed me back to my room, seemingly searching the room for clues. When he checked the trashcans I knew he was looking for condoms and I shook my head. "I don't know what you're trying to find but you aren't going to find anything, we didn't do anything."

"You're stupid enough to not think of hiding stuff, wouldn't put it past you." He spat viciously, I hung my head because this is what I was used to.

As he went into the bathroom my phone went off.

You still at the venue?
Yeah, waiting for Joshua to leave.
Text me when he leaves?
Will do.

I deleted all those messages as he came out, "who are you texting?" He nearly snarled at me.

"Kory? He asked where I was." I lied.

"You're riding home with me." He grabbed my suitcase and I rolled my eyes behind him, would it be frowned upon for me to hit him from behind?

"I'm going home with Kor, he doesn't like driving alone at night you know that. We are going to be right behind you, chill." I said flatly.

Joshua spun around and I nearly tripped over my own suitcase. "You're cheating on me, but I'm supposed to chill?! You have got SOME NERVE!!" He yelled, his voice assaulting my in the tiny foyer.

"Were you in the room last night? Was your fucked up spy in here last night?! Didn't see either of you here!! Stop yelling at me!!!" I screamed back.

"You're not going on tour. Forget that." He said sternly, which made me laugh out loud. "Why do you keep on laughing at me?!"

"I'm laughing at the fact you think you can control what I do like that. I went to Vancouver and I'll be going on tour, literally nothing you can say or do that will stop me." I tried shoving past him.

"I'll divorce you." He said delicately, almost as though he was afraid to hear the answer.

"Don't make promises you can't keep now." I spat out, shoving past him. He grabbed my elbow and jerked me back into the room.

"Is that what you want? A divorce? So you can go fuck your co-star guilt free?" His words were bitter, angry and full of venom. For someone to hold so much hatred for someone as kind as Erik I seriously questioned being alone with him.

I shoved off of him, "I have not had sex in months since you came to Vancouver. Get your hands off of me, now!" I yelled.

"Colleen this isn't you! This..." he pointed at me disgusted and I challenged his words. "This sneaky, lying, mouthy bitch! You've changed."

Ridiculously enough He was right, I had. I used to let him command me and control me, I thought that he loved me and that's what love was, obeying and pleasing your partner but only now did I realize this was one sided. I knew I didn't deserve this, I deserved his anger and judgement but not to this extent.

"You're right; I have. I'm going to find Kory, I'll either see you at home or you'll head back to the bar where all your real friends are. Goodnight Joshua." I left him there jerking my suitcase behind me, it bumped over his foot and I headed off down the hall to find Kory.

As I was putting my suitcase in the back of Korys car My phone buzzed, it was a text from JoJo but it reminded me to text Erik back.

I'm at Korys car, meet you by the fountain?
I will meet you there