Be My Sunflower

Youre a cheater, Colleen.

Kory found Christopher rather quickly and disappeared moments later, while I went to the table set up to the side of the stage. As I was pulling my Miranda pants up I caught a glimpse of Erik and Steve coming through the doors in costume. My heart raced beneath my dress and I forced myself to look down and breathe evenly, being in public with new feelings I shouldn't have wasn't fun.

"There she is!" Steve clapped his hands together and I looked up, giving him a nervous smile.

"Here I am. You ready for this?" I knew how little Steve and Erik enjoyed the spotlight and being on the internet. Which, vidcon was based on everything internet so them being here and performing with me didn't go unappreciated.

"I suppose, yeah." He smoothed out his shirt and I forced my gaze to shift to Erik.

Butterflies tried choking me, but I managed a hello and I think I told him he looked good. I did in my head anyways.

This morning was so easy, like nothing ever happened and while I could step out of myself and remember last night I was still OK. But after Korys innocent insinuation and now his knowledge of events I was nervous, of being called out, of Joshua finding out or seeing something in our looks at each other.

Kory was giving me a look as I looked beyond Erik and I shook my head, I really hope telling him wasn't done in poor judgment.

"Here's the bag of glittery things." I handed him the tiny yellow bag and our fingers grazed which clique enough I did feel a spark. He seemed to feel it too as he cleared his throat and grabbed the bubble gun himself and gave me a small smile.

"You okay there poncho? You look a little dry." Steve razzed Erik, seeming to think he was nervous about performing.

"Yeah, yeah I'm..." he glanced at me. "Good."

My phone went off in my hand, I'm 10 minutes away, when are you performing?

I wanted to tell him I was headed home so I could miss him entirely, but did the right thing. Going on in a few minutes, I'm at the main stage. I'll look for you after. 😘

I shoved my phone into Korys hands and grabbed a microphone from the technician and looked back at my boys. They were prepared and looked great, I was bursting with pride over being able to perform a little ode to Season 1 of Haters Back Off. I'd never imagined in a million billion years I'd have a show, based on Miranda even.

"Good luck!" Kory hugged me from behind and I smiled.

"Thanks. It's nerve-wracking!" They motioned for us to up on stage and I headed up the stairs and went into performer mode despite the feeling I was about to get raging diarrhea.

The crowd seemed confused as I performed and leaving stage I felt super nervous that they didn't comprehend anything but the promo was over and I was glad. Now the rest of which I could do from my home, on my computer and out of the spotlight. I smiled at vloggy that Kory held and rushed off to my bag so I could get out of costume.

Erik and Steve returned the props to the box and stood talking while I went back into Colleen. I grabbed a makeup wipe and wiped my lipstick off careful not to wipe any foundation.

"You did a great job," Steve said, "There were so many people here to see you."

"They weren't here for a 3 minute show, I'm pretty sure they were confused as hell. But we all did good, thank you so much for helping me. You too." I directed at Erik who nodded, usually just quiet and observant.

Kory tapped my shoulder and I turned to look in his direction and saw he was pointing at Joshua. Who was staring us all down, I could pinpoint his disgusted look being thrown right at Erik. Erik seemed to either be unaware or not care, I'd take either.