Dumbass dairy of a fuck up

Boyfriend

So here we go again, everyone tells me to leave him but I just can't he's been with me for so long I just can't let go

It's just so hard and had a fight today and I'm having a panic attack because of it

I'm fighting with myself, leave him or stay with him

It's so fucking hard I can't do life anymore

I need to die

Worthless

Failure

Piece of shit

I need to cut but I guess I can because I have to clean to brake

Cut up my legs at lunch

Stupid stupid girl

Cutting is your punishment you stupid bitch

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Hiding in the girls bathrooms at school is so much fucking fun

I'm the worst girlfriend there is if ebeen cutting for a least a week and I'm trying not to cry right now so I don't fuck up my makeup

Ugh I hate myself so much....

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one more class to do, then I will get to go home and relax..I miss him so much I don't see why he loves me I mean all I do if fuck shit up every time i try to help but like I'm doing my best I can and it's like all I ask from him is a hug when I'm sad ughhh...boys are so annoying sometimes I really don't understand anymore, I wanna go home now

I liked giving up hugs to people today tho

Very hug person now

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Omg I'm changing so much I haven't even put much thought into it until now like I used to be all boyish and now I wanna go all girlish and cute like being called cute is like the main compliment I get

Like I wanna wear my schools skirt instead of the pants and I've started wearing makeup and reading all thses dumb love stories and yea :/ also been getting happy and smiling at the little things what good

I might be single soon tho :c ugh I'm so unloveable

All I did at brake times or ask to use the bathrooms was to cut ( failure me ) gah I want to cuddle him right now but he won't and it's like m gonna hurt someone with no cuddles :c

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Oh fuck I think I have a crush on someone....you know when you get like this really good feeling around someone it's like that's what I get with this guy but I can't like him, I have a boyfriend and I love him very much..ugh...don't like being a teenager everything is to confusing...

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Didn't upload yesterday whoops!!

Well today ( Tuesday ) has been good missed out on my last lesson so yea and go to hang out with someone awesome ^.^