The Undecided Lover

Chapter 8

Tae's POV

I felt Tee stirring beside me on the bed but I kept my eyes closed waiting for him to react.  I wondered how he would react to find himself naked on my bed.  Would he go into a panic and make a dash for the door?

I felt his movements but could not see what he was doing because I had to keep my eyes closed. He tried to get out of bed from my side and of course bumped into me.  Wait, I can feel him peeking under my blanket.  I couldn't wait any longer to see what else he would do.  I grabbed him and made him lie on top of me.

"Did you like what you saw under the blanket?"  I teased.

He looked at me wide eyed.

"P'Tae, what happened last night?"  Tee's panicked look sent waves of pain to my heart.  He is so scared that what might have happened between us would cause him so much shame,  shame that we had made love together in his drunken state.  I tried to hide my pain by joking.

"You raped me!"  I  exclaimed and pretended to sob.

"No!" he cried, "I would never do that to you!"

Of course he would never do that to me.  He could not even barely do those little skinships required during our fan meets, much less have intimate contact with me unless he was drunk half blind.

I guessed rightly.  Now he is making a dash for the door. I quickly got up not even bothering to cover my nakedness before he could make it out the door.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to my chest with our faces close to each other's.  He quickly moved his face to the side.  Does he feel so much loathing towards me that he can't even bear to look at me?  Another fresh stab of pain shot through my heart.

"Look at me, Tee,"  I pleaded, "please look at me and listen.  You did not make love to me.  I made love to you.  I took advantage of your drunken state last night and I am very very sorry.  Please forgive me."

"Let's just forget it,"  he said.  "I'll pretend it never happened.  We have to continue working together like nothing happened between us.  I have to go now, P'Tae.  We still have to get ready for the fan meet that our agency has line up for us this afternoon."

The coldness in his voice sent me reeling in pain.  It hurt so much that I found myself involuntarily clutching at my chest.  How stupid I had been to ever hope that one day I could make him love me back.

I went to put my briefs back on and joined him by the couch where we had undressed each other.  He had already clothed himself fully when I reached him.  He grabbed his car keys that were on my coffee table.  He did not even give me time to put my pants on.  He was already heading for the door.

"Tee!"  I ran after him.

"We have nothing else to say to each other,"  he said without even bothering to look at me.  And then just like that he was out the door.

I slumped against the closed door.  My knees couldn't hold my weight.  I slowly sat on the floor, my back against the door.  I covered my face with the palms of my hand and wept silently.