Kiss Me [COMPLETED]

Chapter 4

I put my shoes away and walked into the kitchen. Mandy smiled at me.

"Hey, kiddo," she said and put a plate on the table. "Just in time for lunch!"

"I am not hungry," I said quickly, and Mandy just grinned at me.

"Right," she said and put several meat rissoles on the plate.

I winced. They smelled so good that my eyes started to water.

"Really, Mandy," I said in a steady voice. "I am not hungry..." and my stomach growled angrily at that.

Mandy laughed.

"Just eat a little, kiddo," she said lightly. "It won't hurt you."

I was about to start saying something, but then my hunger got the best of me. I sat down at the table, and before my mind could protest, I swallowed several rissoles without even bothering to chew them properly. They tasted so good that I almost started crying.

"You like them?" Mandy asked with a smile, and I just nodded. "Want some more?"

"No!" my mind protested. "A world of no!!"

"Yes," I said, and she put three more rissoles on my plate.

After I finished eating, I went upstairs and stared at myself in the mirror.

"You are so disgusting," I whispered, looking at my reflection. "Look at you... You just ate all that food, and now you have to start your dieting all over again!"

I bit my lower lip, feeling incredibly guilty. "It's only been, like, ten minutes after you finished eating..." my mind whispered. "Not enough time to digest all that food. You can still fix this..." I shook my head, feeling almost sick at the thought. "Okay," my mind sighed. "Then why won't you go and get some pie as well, fatso? Also, grab some ice cream while you are at it... And then go get French fries and a couple of Big Macs..."

I turned away from the mirror and all but ran to the bathroom. I slammed my hand into the light switch on the wall, and fell on my knees in front of my toilet. I lifted the lid with trembling hands and stared into the pale-blue water in the toilet.

"I can't..." I moaned softly. "I can't..."

The image of Tyler hugging Laurie's perfectly sculpted shoulders flashed in my head, and I squeezed my eyes shut, suddenly feeling very decisive. I opened my mouth, and without further thinking, shoved two fingers down my throat. My stomach convulsed almost immediately, and all the food that I enjoyed ten minutes ago, poured out of me into the toilet in a brownish, disgusting wave. I coughed and spat some chunks into the messy, liquid pile of half-digested meat. I shoved my fingers down my throat again and again, until nothing but bile came out. I flashed the toiled, feeling very shaky. Then I closed the lid and turned on the faucet in my sink. Cold water felt heavenly on my burning face. I brushed my teeth for almost ten minutes until I couldn't taste my own vomit anymore. I carefully wiped my face with a towel and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Surprisingly, I felt good. I tentatively smiled at myself. The strange sense of victory bloomed inside my chest.

I walked out of the bathroom and turned on my computer. After a few seconds, I typed into the search box, 'bulimia side effects,' and hit 'Enter.' I clicked on the first link, and a few seconds later, blinked in horror.

"Ulcers... Osteoporosis... Hair loss... Organ damage?! Jesus...!" I muttered, scanning the rest of the page. "...and immune system damage..."