Weekends

36- Listening and Love Bites- D

Admin actually listened to me for once. I told the student resources officer everything I had seen and what Brendon told me. As far as both of us knew, it was unprovoked. Both of us were excused from the rest of the school day, so I got to take Brendon back to my house and try to comfort him. No one else was home, which was good because I didn't want Brendon to be any more anxious than he already was.

We were sitting on my bed, Brendon wearing one of my tshirts and a pair of my sweatpants, cuddled under a blanket a good two feet away from me. He told me that his clothes felt dirty. I didn't think that he'd want to be touched after being felt up and groped by Anderson. When we were sitting there, Brendon was just staring off into the distance. He wasn't crying or anything. He just looked lost. Brendon had told me that he didn't understand why Anderson didn't know what a love bite was but that he know what a hickey was. It was heartbreaking to explain this to him.

"H-how could he n-not know what-what a love bi-ite is b-but know what a-a hickey i-is?" I sighed and looked at him. "Hun, most people don't call it a love bite, especially people like Anderson. Hickeys are more violent, more sexual. His purpose of marking you was to show you-" He held his hand up and shook his head. "I-I don't want to hear anymore," he said quietly. I could see tears gathering in his deep brown eyes. "Baby, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?" He shook his head and sniffled lightly. "I just- I d-didn't do a-anything wrong," he started crying. "I know. Brendon, honey, do you want me to hold you," I offered. He was too upset to answer.

"Sweetheart, let's go outside. We could go to that field I took you to that one time. I know that nature helps calm you down," I suggested. He nodded softly and let me help him off the bed. "I-I-I'm sorry, D-Dallon," he whispered. "You didn't do anything, baby. Do you want me to carry you?" His face was streaked with tears. "I-I'd like that." My heart broke when I saw the bruises littering his collarbones and his chest. I had given him love bites for the first time only a few weeks prior. Now, his skin was covered in them. "Come here, love. I've got you." He walked over to me and broke down against me. He let me pull him closer and lift him up. "Let's head out," I whispered to him softly and carried him down to my car.

It was only about a five minute car ride to the field. Brendon was curled up in a ball against the door the entire time. I walked around the car to where he was and opened his door. He didn't make any move to get out. "If you don't want to be here or to get out of the car, tell me. I won't be upset," I assured him, kneeling down to his level. "I-I just- I-I-I n-need you to t-t-tell me that it's o-okay." I sighed and reached over to unbuckle his seatbelt. "Everything will be okay, gorgeous, and I'll be here when it's not," I told him. He sniffled and pressed his palm to his forehead. "I d-don't know if it will b-b-be okay, though, D. He-he tried to t-t-to-touch m-m-me," Brendon let out a stuttered sob.

"I know, honey. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. Do you want to go back to my house," I asked him softly, resting my hand on his knee. "Do you h-ha-have any b-blankets in y-your car," he questioned, ignoring what I'd asked him. "I might. Are you cold?" He nodded and went to get out of the car. "I n-need to- I need to s-stop thinking about h-him," he sniffled lightly, trying to hold back he rest of his tears. "Alright, love. I'll grab a blanket, and then we can go sit down," I told him gently.

We held hands as we walked over to where we'd first started falling for each other. The sun was still high in the sky, but the autumn air was making it a bit colder outside. I sat down, and Brendon sat in my lap, the blanket covering both of us. Brendon had calmed down quickly. Soon, he was forgetting about Anderson and just sitting with me, enjoying our time together. He was hugged against me as I traced patterns on his back and we talked about whatever Brendon wanted to. I'd asked what was on his mind, and he said it was always me. I loved him.

I really loved him. I know I had said that to him before and I'd meant it then, but I couldn't think of a way to express my love for him. Sure, I'd given him gifts and taken him place. I'd comforted him and covered him in kisses, but I couldn't think of any other way to show him how much he meant to me.

"D," Brendon asked quietly from my lap. "Yeah, hun," I replied and resituated myself so I could see his ruddy cheeks as he spoke. "Do you th-think we'll last?" I smiled at him and pressed my lips to his forehead. "I hope so. You mean everything to me, and I can't even entertain the thought that that would ever change. If you grow tired of me, I'd let you leave but a part of me would go with you. I'd spend the rest of my life with you," I told him. His faced heated up, and he sunk further into my lap. "Would you m-m-m-a-ar-m- crap! This s-stupid st-st-stutter!" I put my hand on his back and steadied him. "Love, your stutter is beautiful. Now, what were you trying to say," I tried to help calm him down. Sometimes he got overly frustrated by his stutter. He took a deep breath and nodded, his face a deep shade of red. "Would you- would you ever marry me, Dallon?"

Seeing Brendon on a normal day reminded me that he was my everything. Looking at him as he sat in my lap, his doe eyes peering up at me and the light bouncing off of the pendant necklace I'd given him, I knew that I had the deepest devotion to him and that I would marry him someday. I would spend the rest of my moments with him, and I would give him my everything.

"I will marry you someday, Brendon Urie, I will," I told him. He giggled and buried his face in my neck. "You are my beloved little sunflower, aren't you?" I could feel him smiling against my skin. "Dallon," he whined. "What," I asked him. He shook his head and started kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and let him leave behind light love bites. I didn't give a shit who saw them. They were from Brendon, so I loved them. I loved him.