Weekends

31- Panic and Patience- B

I couldn't believe it. The one person in my life who actually cared about me just hurt me worse than anyone ever had. Dallon said he loved me. He told me that he didn't mind that I wasn't always comfortable speaking. All of that was a lie. He didn't care about me any more than my father did.

I looked down at my phone and saw that Dallon was calling. I sent him straight to voicemail. I didn't need to hear his insincere apology.

My walk home was sad. I was left alone with my thoughts and my tears for most of the way. Dallon trailed next to me, asking me to get in his car for a couple of blocks, but I refused to acknowledge him. He eventually got the idea and left me alone, begging for me to at least text him when I got home.

I cried to myself and dropped my glasses in the grass as I walked up to the back door. Once I'd turned on my phone flashlight and saw where my glasses had fallen, I figured everything would be fine, but after I turned off the light, I stepped on them and cracked one of the lenses. Everything was going wrong.

After about an hour of me being home, I noticed that my phone was blowing up with notifications from Spencer, Nick, Jack, and mostly Dallon.

Dall 🎨: Brendon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that
Dall 🎨: I'm so so sorry
Dall 🎨: Brendon, please, just hear me out
Dall 🎨: Hun?
Dall 🎨: Please at least respond, so I know that you got home safely
Dall 🎨: Brendon, are you home?
Dall 🎨: Look, love, I get that you're upset, and you have every right to be, but please let me know that you're home and safe
Dall 🎨: B, I'm getting worried
Dall 🎨: I love you
Dall 🎨: Brendon, I'm considering calling like the police or something. Please
Dall 🎨: Bren, I need to know that you're safe
Dall 🎨: Please just let me know that you're okay. I love you
Dall 🎨: It's late, hun. I just want to make sure that you're safe
Dall 🎨: It's been like two hours since you started home. Just tell me that you got there okay
Dall 🎨: I love you
Dall 🎨: Baby, I'm freaking out
Dall 🎨: I love you so much
Dall 🎨: Are you okay?
Dall 🎨: I'm so fucking sorry, Brendon. I love you more than anything
Dall 🎨: I feel lost
Dall 🎨: Brendon, this is tearing me apart. I just need to know that you're safe. I don't care if that's all you want to acknowledge. I understand. Ignore my apologies if you want to. Don't respond to my phone calls. Just please let me know that you are okay. I love you so much, and I can't even tell you enough. Brendon, I need to know that you made it home okay. Please please please
Dall 🎨: Are you there?

Jack 🎸: Hey, Bren. Did you get home okay? Dallon's asking
Jack 🎸: Hey, what happened between you and Dall
Jack 🎸: Let me know if you're alright. We're all getting worried.

Spencer ☂️: You home?
Spencer ☂️: Dall told me to ask
Spencer ☂️: Is everything okay?
Spencer ☂️: Dallon came over to my place really upset and scared. What happened
Spencer ☂️: I've never seen him cry before
Spencer ☂️: Please respond to him
Spencer ☂️: He's a wreck, Brendon
Spencer ☂️: I'm ordering pizza. Do you want to come over
Spencer ☂️: Damnit Brendon, he's bawling his eyes out over you! What did he do

Nick 💥: Yo, Dall wants to know where you are
Nick 💥: He just got off the phone with me. He's such a mess. Just text him
Nick 💥: You can't stay mad at him forever, Brendon. He's so in love with you
Nick 💥: Are you home
Nick 💥: Spencer wants you to come over for pizza
Nick 💥: Dallon won't stop crying
Nick 💥: I think he's having an anxiety attack
Nick 💥: Just tell me if you're home. Dallon needs to know
Nick 💥: Can I call you? I think your voice might calm him down

I felt tears rushing down my face as I read Dallon's messages, but the messages from everyone else were worse. Spencer and Nick were right. Dallon doesn't cry in front of people, let alone go to their houses, cry, and ask them for help. I did this. I took a deep breath and called Nick.

"Brendon? Hey, Bren. You don't have to talk to Dallon at all. He just needs to hear your voice. Just tell me about your day before all of this," Nick asked. I took a stuttered breath. "W-well, I-I- D, drove m-me to school this m-morning and wa-as really a-a-affectionate. I-I didn't a-a-ask him about th-the movies because of h-how touchy he was b-being. I-I didn't me-ean for any o-of this to-to happen," I cried lightly into the receiver of my phone. I knew that I was on speaker phone.

"B-B-B-B-Brendon," I heard Dallon sobbing in the background. "Spencer, tell him to stop trying to talk. He's going to throw up again," Nick said calmly. "Dall, buddy, you need to stop trying to talk," Spencer tried. "I-I need him! Y-You don't understand," he shouted.

"N-N-Nick, can y-you come pick m-me up?" I heard a sigh on the other end. "Spence, can I go pick up Brendon? I know that Dallon is a lot right now," he had to speak loudly in order to be heard over Dallon's crying. "Yeah, he doesn't live far. Dall and I have picked him up a few times. Bren, what's your house number," Spencer shouted from what I assumed to be the other side of the room. "I'm house n-number 2762 o-on Pine Street." I heard movement on the other end.

"St-stop trying t-to get me to drink water! I just- I need to hold B-B-Brendon! He-He's so so m-mad at me, a-and I love h-im," my boyfriend cried. "It's okay, Dallon. He'll be here soon." Soon there was the sound of a door closing and keys jingling. "I'll be there soon, B."

Nick showed up at my door ten minutes later, and I rushed out of the house with a bag of overnight stuff. "What did Dallon do," was the first question I was asked once we were on our way back to Spencer's. "We were a-ar-arguing about the whole thing with me not a-asking if h-he wanted to-to go to the movies, and he said that-that I-I was inconsiderate. We w-were g-g-going back and forth about being i-inconsiderate, and he said that the m-most s-s-selfish and-and inconsiderate thing h-he's ever seen was me not sp-speaking and making people wait for me to wr-wr-write my responses. I made him st-stop the car and let me walk the remaining two and a half miles home," I explained.

"I get why you're upset with him. That's a horrible thing to say," he sighed. I nodded. "We've n-never a-a-argued before." I felt myself pouting because this was definitely all my fault. "Brendon, I'm gonna need you to push away any anger towards Dallon because he needs you right now. You can talk to him about everything once he's calmed down, okay?" I nodded and rushed to get out of the car once we pulled into the driveway.

We ran upstairs to find Dallon on the floor and emptying his stomach into Spencer's trash can. "D-Dallon, it's o-okay. I'm h-here," I spoke softly and rubbed my hand on his back. "Br-Brendon i-i-is here? W-W-Why are-are you h-" Dallon's hysterics were cut off by more vomiting. "Dall, tr-try and breathe for-for me. Br-Breathe in for four seconds a-and out for eight," I told him.

He took a deep breath and wiped his mouth off with a paper towel that Spencer had handed to him. "B-B-Bre-" I put my finger to Dallon's chapped lips. "You don't need to-to do that right n-ow. Y-you need to breathe, D-Dallon. That's wha-what you a-always te-tell me," I tried my hardest to not stutter. I was getting better with not stuttering around Dallon, but I was beyond anxious and couldn't help it.

Dallon looked up at me with his pretty blue eyes, and I watched his chin tremble. "I-I can't believe that I-I-I was the one to d-do this to you," he sobbed into his hands. "What d-do you m-ean?" He shook his head, not wanting to say it. "I-I shouldn't be the one making you anxious and upset. U-usually, you don't stutter around me so much, a-and I m-messed with that because I didn't want to go to-to the movies. I-I'm not saying that I don't l-like your stutter b-because I-I love every syllable of it, b-but I also love your handwriting. I o-obviously don't want y-you to b-be anxious, but I-I love you e-even when you're writing y-your r-responses. I l-l-love you mo-more than words can say, B-Brendon," Dallon rambled while bawling his eyes out.

"B-B-Bren, I-I'm so s-s-so sor-ry," he cried and fell into me. "We're okay, D-Dallon. You'll be alright," I whispered. He nodded and continued sobbing into my shoulder. It took him a little while, but he calmed down soon after I got there. "D-Did you get home okay," he asked. "Y-yeah, but I broke my glasses," I told him. He laughed slightly. "Well, how'd you manage that," he grinned. "I stepped on them."

Dallon broke out into full blown laughter. It wasn't because of the fact that my glasses were broken. He was just happy that I was safe and with him. It was beautiful. "Brendon, I-I love you, okay?" I nodded and let him hug me tightly onto his lap. We could talk all of this out once he had calmed down. I wasn't going to let Dallon's outburst during our first argument ruin what we had. "I love you too," I told him, and I'd never meant anything more than those four words.