Muted

Chapter 14

When group ended, we went to our second wave of classes. We had their version of electives or activities as they called it. They had art easels and paint and dull pencils. I wanted to draw so badly. I sat down at an open easel and began to draw. I really don’t remember creating the idea. I just remember finishing. It was only black and white. “Wow, that’s a lot better than my pathetic attempt at a flower.” Said green-eyed Jack. Dr. Allen saw it, too. “Sadie, that’s really good. Are you an artist?” I nodded. I stood up from the chair and looked at my painting. It was a girl chained to her cell, while blood dripped down the walls. “Sadie, does this describe what happened to you?” I shrugged. I just couldn’t get over that fact that I just drew that extremely graphic photo.

Dinner was beef, or pork, and mashed potatoes. I was appalled by the lack of nutritional value that the hospital served. The food was gross. I just drank the grape juice I got. I pushed my food around the plate. It wasn’t like I was pretending to eat, it was just that it was gross. “Don’t worry, we get pizza tomorrow. It tastes a hell of a lot better than this crap.” Tammi said. She plopped her tray down on the table. “I need to know where you learned to draw like that! It had so much raw emotion, yet it was a beautiful work of art.”  I smiled. “I play a few instruments.” Jack heard her and responded. "Don't be modest, Tammi, tell her about the instruments you play." "I play guitar, flute, violin and I sing."  My eyes widened. “That’s a reason that they bullied me. I was considered a nerd. I’m going to Yale next year. I graduated early My SAT scores are 2340 and I get straight A’s. I’m fluent in three languages besides English: Spanish, German and Mandarin Chinese. I’m learning Italian and American Sign Language. My SAT IIs were all perfect. I just never learned social skills.” I nodded. “I bet you know how I feel! It must be hard without a voice.” I shrugged. “It has to be!” I shook my head. She slammed her hands on the table. “No way!” I shrugged. “Do you have a boyfriend?” I nodded. “You must miss him a lot.” I nodded and scarfed down the mashed potatoes, so I could get the hell out of here as quickly as possible.

I probably could leave tomorrow if I would only tell people that Ian Michael kidnapped me and raped me. Words don’t come to me and I plan on earning my way out of here. Elle left yesterday. Tammi is still here. Her mom is trying to get her out of here so she can prepare for her full scholarship to Yale. Tammi deserves to go there. She's received nothing but hell from the kids who bullied her. I wish her well in life.

At group on the fourth day, we have another new kid. "I'm Randy, um yeah." He sat down quickly. He was wearing the grey sweats and had red hair. "Randy,  why don't you explain why you are here?" "Um, I'm gay and my mom said I tried to do something I actually didn't and everyone believes her. I guess she's glad I'm gone." "Randy, I'm sure she was worried about you." Randy laughed. "No, I'm sure you didn't grow up in my house. My mom hates me. She plans on kicking me out in a few days." "Why is that?" "I'm gay. My boyfriend refuses to stand up for me because he is afraid that he'll be disowned." "What's your boyfriend's name?" A girl with black hair and heavy eyeliner asked. "His name is Daniel." Could it be Dan? It sounds like him, but I'm not sure.

My mom visited me and she brought Monroe. I waved to them. "You're making progress, sweetie! You do know that if you told the police what happened, you can leave, right?" My mom said. I nodded. I still wasn't used to this drastic change from negectful to loving. I kissed Monroe. "Sadie, I haven't seen you since your panic incident." I shrugged. "I'm glad your doing better." He said brushing my hair back. "I heard that you are quite the artist here." My mom said. "I'm glad that you have a thing you love and a way to communicate." She gave me a hug. A nurse came into the room. "You guys have to go now, she has mandatory group. You can come back tomorrow." I gave them both hugs and they left. On the way out, Monroe spotted someone. "Randy? Thank God you're here! Dan's been going insane trying to find you." "Well, I'm here." "I'll have to tell him to relax. See you later." Randy looked at me. "I didn't know you were friends with Monroe." I shook my head. "Wait, you're dating Monroe?" I nodded. "He's a nice guy. So you know Daniel?" I nodded. I guess I was glad for Dan. I’m glad he can be himself around someone.