Muted

Chapter 25

When we got to the beach, the sun was setting. “That’s beautiful.” I said. “Just like you.” “You are too sweet, but I know I'm not beautiful.” "No, Sadie, you're beautiful." He kissed me and I kissed back. When we broke away, I noticed there was a fire already started. “Are there people here?” I asked. “Maybe, just close your eyes.” “Why?” I asked. “You’ll find out.” I closed my eyes and he led me somewhere. I heard a door open and I knew we were inside the house. “Surprise!” I jumped, opening my eyes to see Riley, Laine, Mr. Halone, Hannah, Torie, my Mom, George, Carlie, Casey, Randy, Dan, Martha, Brock and Eddie. “We wanted to lighten the mood after everything and Monroe gave us the idea for a party. We just wanted to cheer you up.” Riley said. “Thank you so much. Guys, you have all been so supportive and I’m sorry for any trouble I may have caused.” I said, legitimately feeling guilty. If I didn’t drag them into this situation, so much wouldn’t have happened: Mr. Halo- Thomas, wouldn’t have been attacked, Monroe wouldn’t  have been shot, I would have died and have been buried under a rock with meaningless words on it. Monroe grasped my hand. “Sadie, you know it’s not your fault.” I nodded. “Good, now, let’s party.” I smiled as he led me into the crowd.

    I went to the bathroom to see Laine throwing up. “Do you need anything?” I asked, pulling her hair back with my hands. “No, I’m good. Thank you.” I stayed with her for about twenty minutes. Thomas walked into the bathroom. “Thank you Sadie, I can take it from here. Go enjoy the party.” He took her hair from my hands. I still found it weird to see my teacher here and all, but I pushed that thought away. I walked down the stairs. “Where have you been?” Hannah asked. “Bathroom.” I said at the same time she said “found her!” I was dragged into the kitchen. They were making hamburgers and hot dogs. Brock handed me a plate. “Hot dog or hamburger?” He asked. “I’m a vegetarian.” “Oh,” he said dejected. “Here you go.” Monroe handed me a plate with potato salad, chips and a pickle. “Thanks.” I said and got a cup of lemonade. I had begun eating when my mom came in. “Hey, honey, we’re going to leave. I’m not feeling well, plus Casey has an appointment tomorrow at nine.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek. I gasped loudly. “You’ve never done that before, Mom.” I said. She pulled me into a hug and whispered in my hair “I’m sorry for everything, I really am.” I hugged back, but all too quickly, she was gone. I picked at my food; I wasn’t in the mood to eat.

Slowly, people began to leave: Laine and Thomas had to go because Laine felt was throwing up and wanted to rest, Riley went to go hook-up with Brock, Randy and Dan went to go see a movie and the rest just left. Hannah was the only one here, besides Eddie. He’s been trying to get her home for the past ten minutes. She was drunk. Where she got the alcohol, I don’t know, but she was acting completely out of character. “You realize that my life is screwed up. I have a kid, she’s four. What am I going to do? Eddie, you are cute. We should hook-up. Kiss me white boy.” She was even offensive. “Sadie, if I were in your shoes, I probably would have killed myself.” Then, she passed out.

I was really overwhelmed now. I felt as if everything was on me. Monroe must have sensed it because he pushed me into a room. “He’s fucked up. Seriously. He deserves everything he gets in jail and being locked away for life.” I started to laugh uncontrollably. “I’m as fucked up as he is!” “Why do you say that?” I shrugged. “Sadie, can you stop thinking less of yourself. I think you’re fucking amazing and I don’t understand how you can’t see this.” He kissed me. “I love your scars, every single one of these scars.” He lifted up my arm. “I love your voice, which I don’t hear enough of.” He sat next to me. “I love the way you listen and the way you passively smile. I love your intelligence, your artistic abilities, I love the way you care more about other people than you do yourself.” I curled up into a ball on the bed. “I love you Sadie, all of you and even though we are only in high school, I can tell we will be together.” He kissed my cheeks, my nose, my forehead and eventually stopped at my lips. When he kissed me, it felt like fireworks. I felt his hands on my body, but unlike Ren’s, his touches were soft and not pressuring. “Tell me when you want to stop.” He said. “Listen, Monroe, I'm not ready for this. I know you probably are and I really feel bad, but at the same time, I need to respect myself." "I know. I'll be ready when you are. I won't pressure you into anything. I will stop when you want me to." "Thank you. How did I ever deserve a gentleman like you?" "Fate, my dear." That night, I made sure my captor didn’t capture my soul, because my knight in shining armor protected me. 

The next day, I woke up with hands wrapped around my waist. I opened my eyes to see Monroe. ‘Last night was perfect.’ I thought to myself. ‘I should be with a real gentleman and he’s one through and through. With Ren, it was about control and command, but with Monroe, it was pleasure and love, not lust, love.’ I slowly disentangled my body from his limbs, waking him up in the process. “Hey, babe.” He said, giving me a kiss on the forehead. I pulled closer to him. I saw the scars on his chest, both so close to his heart. “I was so lucky.” He said. “What happened?” I asked. “I mean, after I passed out from lack of oxygen.” “Well, after you passed out Ren started freaking out. He began saying that I killed his father and I needed to pay. He told the police officer that you were the reason behind this. You were lying about everything because you were embarrassed about your sexual history. He kept this rant on for ten minutes. When he saw me, he got unbelievably angry and shot me twice. He kept shouting ‘You murdered my father and you’ll die the same way he did.’ They had to sedate him.” “Wow, I’m sorry.” I said. “Don’t be, he’s deranged. He won't bother us for a very long time."