Muted

Chapter 23

When the trial started, Ren got called up to the stand first. Of course, he denied everything. He denied ever kidnapping me. George worked his lawyer magic and presented his evidence in terms I didn't understand. The police found the knife I was talking about and when I saw it, I shuddered remembering the pain he caused with it. It was hard to recall those events. It was weird to know that a single object could trigger such an intense memory. Monroe's hand tightened around mine and I found solace in his grasp.

When I got called up to testify against him, I got angry. His lawyer kept accusing me of lying. “Why would I lie about this? I have serious issues because of his abuse.” “Can you prove that these issues began after he allegedly kidnapped you?” “Yes, I can. If you contact my previous school, they can tell you that I began being silent after I disappeared for a few days.” “And you haven’t called them to tell them to lie for you?” “Check my phone records if you must.” “I just can’t see how an unstable person can be honest.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not unstable. I am a perfect functioning human being. I haven’t gone on a rampage and kidnapped my boyfriend and made him a human cutting board and forced him to do things for my pleasure. I’ve been pretty stable if you ask me." "But, unfortunately Ms. Dilon, I'm not asking you if you're stable. I have psychiatrists for that." "Unstable people don’t visit their brothers in the hospital or go out with people. If you don’t believe me, fine, but I’m perfectly sane. I may have my issues, but why should that make me unstable. I don’t see people or hear voices. I don’t go around murdering people left and right.” “Ms. Dilon, my client claims that this relationship was consensual, is that true?” “No, I never allowed our relationship to go beyond kissing.” “Then why did it?” “He got violent. Abusive even.” She gave a look to Ren and she nodded. “Now, Sadie, you said that Casey was hit by a car on your watch. Were you watching him? Or were you with your boyfriend, Monroe?” I laughed. “I hadn’t met Monroe until I moved here. When Casey was hit, I was trying to get him to stay in the house. It’s hard to stop a child when they want something. It’s also hard when you’ve been silenced by a psychopath who held a knife to your throat.” “You brought it upon yourself!” Ren screamed at me. “Silence! Counselor, control your client. ” The judge slammed his gavel one the desk. “I’m done here.”

Three hours later, we were allowed to go home. I had found out that Casey had been readmitted to the hospital. They were giving him another dialysis treatment, but wanted to make sure he did not have an adverse reaction to the treatment. I prayed for him. I overheard my mom and George from my room. “Maybe we should take her to a psychiatrist on a regular basis?” “Do you think that would help?” “I know it will. She needs to talk to someone, Rachel. After this trial, I think that she should see someone twice a week. This could even be required. The judge may want her to see someone. In many of my cases, that has happened to those who I have represented. One girl was autistic and raped and they made her go to required group therapy sessions.” “George, I don’t know if she can take anymore pain in her life.” “Listen, I’ll call up an old friend. He’s a great psychiatrist. I think that he’d be a great match for her.”

The next day I had to get up and go back to court. I was sluggish. My mom helped me put my hair up and get ready. “Honey, I know you’ve had a trying week, no pun intended, but I think that after this trial is over that you should begin to see a psychiatrist regularly. You were supposed to do something because of your recent events and I’ve neglected to follow through with it.” She hugged me. “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done. I let my alcoholism take control and I didn’t stop it. It’s all my fault.” She began to sob, so I hugged her back. I still haven't forgiven her for all she's done to me, but it was a nice start.

Court didn’t work out well. Ren tried to claim insanity, even though he kept contradicting himself. It was going terribly. I kept trying to ask to go home, but no one would let me. I just wanted to shut myself away from the world. Ren’s lawyer kept trying to use my supposed instability to make a case, but I’m not crazy.

When I got home after day two of the trial, I went to my bedroom and changed into sweatpants. Then, I locked my door and hid under my covers. I was embarrassed by the lawyer’s comments. Monroe tried to enter, but I wouldn’t let him in. “Go away.” I whined. I heard the sound of the door hitting the ball. It was Monroe. I put my blankets over my head. “Hey, Sadie, That guy’s an idiot. Lawyers will say whatever to win a case. Come on, at least eat something.” He handed me a lunchable. I just glared at him. I threw the box across the room and went back to my den of self-pity. The next thing I knew, he had flipped over my mattress. “I’m not eating a lunchable.” I said, offering him a compromise. “But it’s the nachos. They’re the best.” “No, I want real food.” “Food, who needs food. Certainly not you. You must remain thin, for me. You know that eating can hurt you. Now, drink your water and shut up.” I felt the sting of his shoe on my face as he kicked me. I jumped. “On second thought, I’m not hungry.” I said defying my grumbling stomach. “I can hear your stomach growling. You have to eat. Sadie, sitting here wasting away is not going to prove your case.” I stood up. “No, but it’s who I am. The bastard drilled these thoughts into me and now I can’t function in a normal society!” He pulled me close to him. I felt the tears escape my eyes. “Don't let his lawyer hear that." He said under his breath. He wiped my tears away and kissed my cheek. "Shhh, Sadie, relax. He’s not here. He’ll never be here. He’s going to be put away for awhile. I won't let him come anywhere near you. Shh, relax.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried. "Thank you." I whispered.