Muted

Chapter 26

I looked at the cap and gown in my hand. Even with my absence, I managed to make the salutatorian for my graduating class. I had to give a speech at graduation. I was so nervous. I had already written it down, but the speaking was still hard. I felt comfortable talking with friends and teachers, but talking in front the whole student body, plus their families, seemed like too much for me. I had tons of help, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I could do this.

Two days from graduation, Monroe and I decided to get tattoos, not matching, just tattoos that we would reveal to each other after graduation. It came up in a conversation while we were laying on the beach. "I wish that I at least had something permanent that I liked, instead of all these scars." I said into Monroe's shoulder. "Then get a tattoo." He said. "A tattoo." "Yeah, I know a person who will do it for a discount. He's actually a really good artist." "Would you get one with me?" I asked, afraid of the needle and the pain that would come from the injection of ink. "Sadie Dilon, are you afraid?" "Yes." I said passively. "Don't worry, I'll get one too." "But, I don't want you to see mine until I show you." "Are you proposing that it stay a secret until maybe, after graduation?" I nodded. "Then let's get tattoos." He said. I smiled, maybe ink will draw the attention away from my disgusting scars. "Just for the record, I think that you are the most beautiful person on the planet, scars and all." I smiled, basking in the compliments I rarely received.

I told the artist what I wanted, I actually drew up the design, and where I wanted it. After two hours of pain, he told me it was done. The tattoo artist thought it was one of the most inspirational tattoos he's ever done. When I saw it, I gasped. It was absolutely beautiful. "I don't think I've ever wanted to cry after completing a tattoo and I've done ton for people who wanted to remember their family members and friends who have passed on. Just knowing that you're alive and how this event has built you up is so emotional." I hugged the artist and handed him the money. I couldn’t wait to show Monroe.

The days before graduation flew by. I had practiced my speech a million times, but I still wasn’t ready. I saw all the people there and had a panic attack thinking about speaking in front of them. When I was introduced by the valedictorian, Laine, I stood up and made my way to the podium. Her speech was nice, she talked about the lasting memories of this school. She wanted to remember high school for as long as she lived. I know she will because the bump she is concealing will not go away for awhile. I took a deep breath. “Hello, my name is Sadie Dilon, and I’m kind of new to the whole talking thing. Up until recently, I hadn’t said a word since my freshman year. I rather not go into details, but I have been completely changed by the events that recently took place. I hadn’t planned on anything that happened this year, but it happened. I found support and security in this school and although it felt as if I was barely there, I know it has made a difference. Now, everyone expects me to be a symbol of strength. I’m not. I’m a teenager trying to move on and this school has helped me to gain entry to that chance to move on. I never thought that I was good at anything, I was silenced into submission. I did whatever he wanted without any respects to my personal desires. 'No' meant a kick to the stomach or a cracked rib. I didn't have a choice. But, that is behind me. That’s a path I need to take on my own. Now, I’m graduating from high school. A year ago, I doubted I’d ever graduate. It’s indescribable; my happiness that I graduated. When I was lying on the ground praying to God that I'd die because I couldn't stand the pain, I would cry. I would cry because I thought I'd never have friends, graduate from high school, go to college, fall in love, have children and watch them grow up. I thought that I would die and be a mystery to be solved and eventually forgotten. Graduating from this school is a small step towards my future and I will remember this day for as long as I live. Thank you.” People began to clap and some people started to stand up. Before I knew it, I had received a standing ovation. I was crying on the stage. I had never had this much support before and it was completely overwhelming. When I received my diploma, I cried again, because it was becoming so real. I had to repeat it a few times in my head. 'You graduated, you won.'

After we had graduated, Monroe came up to me. “You know, that salutatorian speech was pretty good.” He said. I smiled. My mom wanted a couple hundred photos. Casey and Carlie gave me flowers. They were blue and pink and had little bows over the stems. “Saddie good!” Carlie said. “Yeah, happy for you!” Casey said. I kissed them both on the cheek. Monroe handed me a dozen white roses. "Monroe, these are absolutely beautiful!" “I know, that's why I got them and because I thought white roses were more of a 'Sadie Dilon' type of thing." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Sadie, we need to talk.” Monroe said to me, causing me to have a minor scale panic attack. “It’s nothing serious. I just want to know when our big reveal is.” I smiled, taking in air as if it were water and I was in the desert. “After dinner with my mom and George, I’ll sneak over and show you what I got.” I said. “Why does that sound tempting?” Monroe said. I hit him lightly. “Stop it.” I smiled. “Okay, have fun at dinner. I'm going to go talk with my family. See you later.” He winked at me and walked away.

George came up to me right before I left. He handed me more flowers. “Sadie, congratulations, your speech was moving." "Thank you, dad. Now, where am I going to put all these flowers." He stood in front of me, shocked. "Did you just call me dad?" "I did because you're the closest thing to a dad I've ever had." I hugged him. I swear I saw him crying. "That means so much to me, especially since I'm going to propose to your mom." I smiled. "You have my blessing." "So, where do you want to go to eat? I was thinking the steakhouse down by the theatre.” “No offense, but I’m a vegetarian.” “Shoot, I forgot.” “I’ll get a potato or onion rings. Don’t they have those awesome appetizers, I’m sure I can ask for them sans meat.” He smiled. “Okay, you’re the graduate. I’ll pull the car up, help your mom with the kids.” I nodded. He was sounding more like a father. I mean, it’s one thing to take on my case and help me face my attacker, but it’s another to help with my fucked up family. I was happy I called him dad. I never knew my dad, but if I were to have a father, I'd want George to be mine. I went to go find my mom.

The steakhouse staff were nice enough to make what I ordered without any meat. I planned on leaving them a nice tip. “I hear you’re going to art school.” George asked. I nodded. “New York.” “Awesome, what do you want to do with that?” I hadn’t even thought about it. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Maybe I can get into art therapy. That seems like something I could do. Granted, I’ll have to take other classes, but still.” “That’s really nice.” He got up, I assumed he was going to go to the bathroom, but he stood there and dropped to one knee. “Rachel Dilon, you make me happy in ways I didn’t know were possible. Will you marry me?” I sat in the booth smiling like a complete idiot. “Yes!” They embraced. I took a photo on my phone. “Too cute.” I said. They left hand in hand.

I crossed the lawn on tiptoe. Monroe was waiting for me. “Hey, how was dinner?” He asked. “I’m finally going to have a father. It’s weird, but he’s been great to us: being my lawyer, sobering my mother up and he’s been such a help with the kids.” “Really, Sadie, that’s amazing.” "I called him dad. I finally have a father." Monroe and I embraced. We sat on the porch for a little longer, hugging and not wanting to ever let go. “Let’s go upstairs.” He led me to his room. “Okay, on three we will reveal our tattoos. One, two, three.” On three we both took off our shirts. If someone opened the door right now, they would get the wrong idea. His was on his shoulder blade. It was an eagle standing proudly, the words ‘with pain comes strength- RIP Lock Randes 1929-2001’ were underneath. “My grandfather had hung this photo in his room. When he was sick, he had us bring it to the hospital so he could be reminded of why he was going through everything. He died of pancreatic cancer when I was thirteen. I vowed to live by his motto.” “Monroe, that’s beautiful.” I said, running my hands over the eagle. “Thanks, I just want to preserve the memory of him as best as I can, he was my real father figure, and I guess he took me under his wing,” He started to laugh. “He always wanted a son, and I guess I was the son he never had.” I hugged Monroe. “Your turn. I haven’t looked yet.” Mine was on my hip. It was a dial. One side, the lower side, read 1083, the top read ‘the present.’ The words around it said, ‘I cannot be muted.’ I heard Monroe gasp. "Sadie, that is amazing. I can't think of anything that is more appropriate for your situation." The tattoo is right,  I will no longer be muted.

a/n- and that is all, I actually thought it would be a lot longer because its almost 50,000 words in doc and is like 130 pages, so I anticipated it being a lot longer. So, I'm considering writing an epilogue just for closure for myself because I've been writing this for a while and I need to finish the story of Sadie. So, yeah.