I Can't Fight This Feeling - Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fanfic 18+

I Can't Fight this Feeling - Chapter 1

I Can't Fight this Feeling.

Written By; SueH01

Date Started; 27/08/2018

L.A.

Emily Sheridan...

'I'm sorry Miss Sheridan there was nothing that we could do!'

Those words had ended my world, my safe and protected bubble – they had been ringing in my ears for 3 days now; 3 long days of what felt like being in isolation. I knew that there were people around me and I knew that they were talking to me but I was in my own mind far too deep to respond to them. I feel completely numb; like nothing will ever feel right again.

What am I supposed to do?

Who am I meant to call?

I just want to crawl into my bed and ignore it all. I didn't want to face this. I don't actually think that I can face this. Can I?

Some of the things that the people around me were saying; were managing to sink through the fog and haze that was surrounding me. Things like...

'I think she's in shock'

'Maybe we should call a doctor'

'Do you think it is safe to leave her alone?'

I really wanted to scream at them all to get the Hell out of my house, to leave me alone, that I didn't need 24 hour watching. I am not going to slit my wrists. I am not going to take an overdose. I am not going to kill myself with alcohol. I am not going to kill myself full stop. However, every single time I went to open my mouth – those words would appear again...'there was nothing we could do!'

Why was there nothing that they could do? I mean it is a hospital for fuck sake, it's a place where people are meant to go to get better, right? Or am I the moron that just doesn't understand? No, I do understand – it wasn't that there wasn't enough money to find treatment, not enough money to get the best doctors and surgeons in the world – why wasn't any of that enough? Why am I now sitting at home alone? Why has my dad died?

I am now truly alone in the world. What am I supposed to do? My whole life, it had been just me and Dad; he had been left a single parent when my mom had died giving birth to me. My world had been just me and my dad, and the staff that he hired to work at home – maids, gardeners, cooks and nannies for me. I had never been left alone to think that my dad didn't want me – I knew that he was ensuring that we had enough money to live a comfortable life, something that he hadn't had when he was growing up.

I can hear him right now, telling me to stop being silly, to pick myself up and move forward – to take care of business and make him proud. Well, that was all that I had ever wanted to do – make him happy and make him proud.

As I felt the world coming back into focus, I sat up from where I had slumped on the sofa just as my dad's best friend, Jeffrey walked into the room.

"How you feeling today kid?" he asked giving me that smile, the one that I had been so attracted too, from the moment that I had hit puberty and knew that I was attracted to men.

"I'm...still numb I think...I just don't know where to start with everything," I admitted honestly.

"Well, at least you are talking today," he took the spot next to me on the sofa; his expensive aftershave; a safe and comforting scent that made me feel safe, "you had us all worried for a bit there,"