I Can't Fight This Feeling - Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fanfic 18+

Chapter 7 - All By Myself

Emily Sheridan...

Last night had consisted of dream after dream of Jeff and I having mind-blowing sex. I would wake up after every single climax – repeating the same process of having a cigarette, a drink of water and falling back asleep with the hope of no more dreams. I guess its no surprise that I feel like a zombie; that Jeff kills on the TV show The Walking Dead. It, honestly, felt that I had physically spent the night getting fucked out of my mind. Also, now all I can do is think about how Jeff would actually be in bed. I figured that he'd have to be amazing; he has dated some really beautiful women over the years – which had only resulted in me feeling fat and ugly, as these women were stunning; there was no way that he would ever look at me the way he had looked at them.

Was he as good in bed as I had dreamt him to be? I'd never find out; not if his reaction to our almost moment last night was anything to go by.

Yesterday, I had planned on going down to the building site today but now, I just don't feel like I have the strength for it; neither physically or mentally. That is why at 9am – I am still lying in my bed. I don't know what to do – I had made my mind up last night that I was going to text Jeffrey this morning; but honestly, right in this moment it just didn't feel like it was a very good idea.

Even if I had felt like it was a good idea – I have no idea what to say in the text. I mean maybe I was making more out of what had happened, than what had really happened. Yes, I had, had always had a crush on Jeffrey but to take it further wasn't something I had ever really put much thought in to – mainly because of my dad. Did that mean that what had happened last night was down to the both of us missing my dad? That could very well be; why he had left so quickly. I just wish that he would have talked to me about it, rather than getting up and fleeing like he had a rocket up his ass.

Texting him would be making a big deal out of what had happened – maybe its best to just try and forget what had happened!

The beep in my phone alerted me to a text message; 'Em's is it ok to come by tonight?' it was from Jeffrey, which of course sent my over-thinking mind off in a tangent all over again.

Do I text him back straight away? If I did; would he think that I have just been sitting here waiting to hear from him?

Or do I ignore him for a few hours? If I did that; would he think that I am not bothered at all about what had happened?

What do I want him to think?

What do I think about what happened? I just feel confused about the whole thing. My crush on him had always been just simmering on the back burner and there is no way that Jeffrey had been harbouring similar feelings for me and I am ok with that; I understand it – I am his best friends' younger daughter.

Over the years I had watched my friends getting hurt and turned inside out by guys, not to mention my own experiences with men – I think that I had convinced myself that Jeffrey was my safe option; because there was no way that anything was ever going to happen with us, which of course, meant that he'd never hurt me.

So, what am I meant to do now?

I desperately wish that I could talk to Ryan and Paige about it – but he is their dad and I don't think that they'd be too happy to hear about it. I know that I'd find it weird if one of them had confessed to have a crush on my dad.

'Hey honey, Ryan and I are on our way over xx' another text came through but from Paige this time and I didn't need to think about whether or not to reply.

'Ok let yourselves in. I am just heading into the shower xx'

Forcing myself to get out of bed – I moved into my en-suite and turned the shower head on to warm up. After the first dream last night; I had decided to move myself into the master-suite – which had the panic room. It made much more sense to be closer to that – being that I am a single young woman living in a mansion.