I Can't Fight This Feeling - Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fanfic 18+

Chapter 33 - In The Dark.

Chapter 33 - In the Dark.

A Week Later;

Jeffrey Dean Morgan...

Why won't she talk to me? Why can't I find her?

I have been to every possible place, I can think of ~ where I think she might be and nothing. Her house; there was no sign that she'd been there in weeks, the club; it appeared that she was remote managing, I went to my daughter, Ryan's house; in the hope that she may have been hiding out there while Ryan was on the road with her hubby, fuck me; I had even gone out to the cabin that Ben had bought, a couple of years back; but there was no sign what~so~ever.

I feel like I am losing my mind, I am just frantic beyond belief.

If only, I knew what had happened; maybe I would rest easier, or maybe I'd understand why she had dropped off the radar. I mean, she has to know that I would be going out of my mind. I just can't believe that she would do this to me ~ not in a way that she was aware of what she was doing.

Paige was checking in on me every day ~ as far as she was concerned; I was fine. However, I am not sleeping; I am wondering from room to room and back again, my bed just feels wrong without her there now, I even tried sleeping on the sofa, but it's no good. I am not eating; I just can't seem to muster an appetite ~ I have tried forcing myself to eat, but that only ends in my throwing up. I just feel like I am a shell of who I used to be.

What if her stalker has her? Surely; she knows that my mind would go there.

Moving into my home office ~ my eyes landed on the photo of Ben and I ~ I, seriously can't believe that I didn't think of it sooner. Racing to the front door; I slipped my feet into my boots, and grabbed my car keys. Deep down, I hope that she hasn't been there all this time, but at the same time, I hope that she is there because if she isn't ~ I, honestly have no idea where else I can look for her. I am terrified to think that she is just gone. What am I meant to do if she really is gone?

Finally, I parked my car in the designated parking area, lighting a cigarette ~ I make my way to where my best friend had been laid to rest. My stomach dropped when it was obvious that she wasn't here.

"Hey buddy," taking a seat on the ground, I stare at the headstone, "I am sorry that it's taken me this long to come see you. I guess, in my defense; I was a little afraid to come.

"So, lets get this out of the way first....look I know that it isn't ideal that I have started dating Emily but you have to know that I haven't entered in to this lightly. Ben, I have fallen in love with your daughter. God help me, I tried to fight it, I tried denying it, I tried staying away from her, but she....she is too hard to ignore; I can't live without her now. I need her far more than I even realised.

"I admit that I had hoped that she'd be here. Ben, I know you don't want to hear this but I feel like I am suffocating without her it's like I can't breathe without her by my side, and for as corny as this sounds ~ I have never felt this intensely for someone before and it scares the hell out of me, man. I don't know how to deal with it all.

"Your daughter, is a remarkable young woman, mate and that is down to you and the way you raised her.

"And Gracey; if you were here ~ I know that I would see nothing but pride and admiration in your eyes. I know that you are probably thinking, the same as anyone who knew how I felt about you, that this is some twisted way of me thinking I can finally be with you Grace, but it's not like that. No disrespect Gracey, but Emily is so much more than you were. I am in love with your daughter, and as mad as you are ~ you should know, better than anyone, that I will take good care of her. There is nothing that I won't do for her, and I promise you, that I will never do anything to hurt her," lighting myself another cigarette, my hand reaches out and brushes along the top of the gravestone, "I promise that I won't leave it so long next time, I miss you both and can only hope that you don't hate me,"