I Can't Fight This Feeling - Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fanfic 18+

Chapter 2 - Nobody Noticed It

Chapter 2 – Nobody Noticed It.

A week later; Graveyard.

Emily Sheldon...

'I heard broken footsteps; was that you limping? Well, I wish that I had spent just a little bit more time with you. Tears on my ceiling; weren't you watching? Well, I guess none of us will ever know what comes after this,'

My tears had begun about half way through Jeffrey's eulogy and I hadn't managed to stop – I feel weak and pathetic. It felt even more undignified when Jeffrey had, had to support me while leaving the funeral home. Lowering my dad's coffin into the ground; was when I felt the finality of the situation washed over me like a tsunami.

Even now, everyone was gone and it was just me alone with my dad and all I can think about is that how am I going to walk away; when it already felt like my feet had suddenly sprouted roots that felt like they wouldn't move. My stomach was clenching so tightly that I felt sick – I could feel it rising, but it just wouldn't come over that last hurdle to come out. I don't think that I have ever been to a funeral without my dad; which in a weird way, I wasn't at this one without him.

'You're still lovely, you were lovely then, all that you had to endure, I guess; nobody noticed it, I know your resemblance its out there walking, and I wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten,'

Why didn't I see it? Why did he have to hide it from me?

Before his diagnosis; he had hidden the pain that he was in, he hid the fact that he was being sick more often than not. From what the doctor told me about the type of cancer he had; he would have been in a considerable amount of pain.

My heart feels broken and it hurts more than anything that has ever hurt me before – my dad and I had always been close; mostly due to it just being him and I. We had made a pact when I was ten years old that regarding his romantic life that I always had to be honest about whoever he was dating, and that he would always listen to my views. Even to this day; he had never dated. Jeffrey once told me that the reason my dad never dated or got married again, was because he loved my mom so much that there was no one else on this planet that could hold his love the way my mom had.

I loved the thought of my dad loving my mom so much that he just didn't even want to try and replace her.

'Well, they tried to make you look broken, but not while I'm living, 'cause I wanted you to know I heard what you said while it was raining, you're still lovely, you were lovely then, all that you had to endure, I guess nobody noticed it,'

I would have loved to have known my mother. Seeing the home videos of her during her pregnancy and before – she came across as a peaceful and loving soul. There were never any moments that she didn't have a smile on her beautiful face. When I say beautiful, I mean she was supermodel beautiful and I paled in comparison next to her. I guess I am guilty of holding her on a pedestal and trying to measure myself up to her and always failing miserably.

'You made me, I love you and did you know nothing has changed, and now everyone they notice it, everyone notices, you're still lovely, you were lovely then, all that you had to endure, I guess nobody noticed it, you made me, I love you and did you know, nothing has changed, and now everyone they notice it, everyone notices,'

"Ems?" the sound of his voice pulled me from the song that I had picked as the last moments of dad and I being together had begun to fade. My own last private moment – that if anyone else were to interrupt it, I would be livid with, but Jeffrey was different, he was my dad's best friend, they had known one another from the day they were born.