oh boy. i hope to make this a bit longer but idk if that's gonna happen. set a couple weeks after last chapter. also i'm ditching the accent because it's hard to write tbh
side note: i do have a specific ending i want for this book so yeh
note: this chapter does deal with heavy stuff so read with caution
this one will give you sort of an idea of how thin 2D actually is in this book.
oOo
2D sat on his bed, staring at the floor. There were boxes messily placed around him with tape closing each one. Permanent marker labelled each one with what the contents were. Placed next to the bed were suitcases and a bag filled with medication. He held his phone in his hands, ready to call off the entire thing, but stopped himself. No, this was going to be a good thing for him. He couldn't just call off moving back in with Murdoc. His stuff had already been packed up, and his furniture had been sold. There was absolutely no backing out of this.
A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. "Come in?" he questioned loudly and he heard the door open. Shortly after, Murdoc walked into the room. "You ready?" he asked and the bluenette shrugged. "I think so. I don't know," he said, looking down to the floor. Murdoc placed his hand on 2D's shoulder in order to comfort him and the bluenette flinched slightly, not used to this type of attention, especially from Murdoc.
"It's going to be fine, I promise."
The bluenette nodded and he picked up a box. It's going to be okay. As he walked out of the room, it felt odd to see everything either packed into a box or gone.
It will never be okay.
The return of the nagging voice made the bluenette drop the box, which made the contents inside break. Stuart had no idea what was in the box, but now it didn't matter as it was broken.
Why didn't you kill yourself? You can't even do that right. You shouldn't have called Murdoc. He doesn't care about you.
Tears began leaking out of 2D's eyes, dripping onto the box with the broken contents. He crossed his arms and knelt down, his eyes on the slightly dented box that he'd dropped. It was his own fault for being such a clumsy idiot.
He began to shake, the feeling of uselessness overcoming the feeling that it was going to be okay like Murdoc had said. It would not be okay and 2D doubted that it would ever be okay. Nothing had gone his way in over two decades, so why should it now? He knew he should have killed himself before he was kidnapped by Murdoc to sing on Plastic Beach. Everyone would have been so much happier.
Yes, that's it Stuart, now's a good time to die. Can I help? Please? How about a seizure? That would help you die. I can control everything you do and everything that happens to you.
"2D, are you okay?"
The bluenette curled into a ball on the ground, shaking and now, crying his eyes out.
Tell him to go away. Tell him to leave for a couple hours so you can sleep. You want to sleep. You do. Tell him. Say it. Now. Fucking do it now. He will listen. Tell him you're tired and you want to sleep.
"N- I don't w- no. I'm fine. I'm fine," the bluenette replied through a shaky voice. Murdoc knelt down and put his hand on 2D's shoulder; an attempt to comfort the bluenette being made.
2D sat up, still shaking, and smiled at Murdoc, who helped him off the ground. "Thanks," he said softly, doubt present in his voice. However, it was ignored by Murdoc, who smiled. "No problem." A small smile from the bluenette, then once more a frown.
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