chapter 31

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(WARNING, VERY STRONG THEMES ⚠⚠ )

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There was a soft knock on my door, I turned from my position from the corner of the room to look at the door. I saw the handle move, and my heartbeat increased. I had locked the door since I couldn't handle facing anyone. The handle jiggled for a bit before it rested.

"Dawn?" It was Penny. "I brought you some food, can I come in?"

At the mention of food, my stomach growled insatiably. How long had it been since I had a meal? Last I could remember was the morning I got ready for the mating ceremony. It had been four days since I last ate.

I pulled the blanket off of me and walked slowly towards the door, where Penny was standing behind. The door creaked open slowly, and I kept my head down. I heard her gasp at the state I was in before she tackled me in a hug. I stiffened in her hold, and attempted to hug her back but couldn't find it in myself to do so.

She rocked me side to side in her embrace. "Oh Dawn, I heard what happened. If I could, I would castrate Lucas!" I felt like laughing, and I really wanted to, but I couldn't break free of this emotionless cast.

She pulled back and brought the plate of food up for me to see, and my mouth watered at seeing it. I took the plate in my hands and walked to the bed with Penny in tow. I sat down and shoved a mouthful of toast into my mouth, she sat beside me and watched me rip through the food.

"How long has it been since you ate?" And her eyes gazed over the hallows that were growing apparent in my cheeks.

I opened my mouth to tell her, but I immediately clamped it shut, my stomach gurgled and I felt bile rush up my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand and moved the plate off my lap and stumbled towards and into the bathroom.

Once inside, I fell on the toilet and threw up the food I had just consumed. Some of it getting in my hair, I felt fingers glide my hair back as I kept dry heaving into the toilet, every time I would move back thinking it was over I would heave again.

After a couple more false alarms, I felt as if it was finished and I laid my head on the lid. I felt a hand rub my back as I kept coughing every once in a while.

"Oh, Dawn..." Penny said with pity evident in her voice.

I moved away from the toilet and leaned against the tub. I opened my eyes to see a very concerned Penny sitting only a few inches away from me. I glazed my eyes over her face, not liking the look she gave me and so I looked her dead in the eye and pointed at the door, she followed my pointed finger and saw that it pointed out.

"You want me to go?" She asked. "Why?" and I pointed again to the tub, signaling that I wanted to take a bath. "Oh, alright. I'll just be outside." She patted her thighs before she got up, and turned, she got to the door and looked down at me. "I'm here for you Dawn." And all I could do was a nod. She shut the door behind her, and I crawled over to lock it. Once being assured it was locked I leaned my head against it, I willed myself to cry but nothing came, not even a single tear fell from my dry eyes. I was completely and utterly emotionless.

I went back to the tub and turned on the water. I watched it slowly fill up as I looked upon it in a trance. I took off my shirt and followed suit with my pants. I reached around my back to unclasp my bra before I decided against it.

I didn't want to be found naked.

I sighed when my foot made contact with the ice cold water, I put my other foot in and sank down until I was only a head above the water in the deep tub. I reached over to turn the faucet off and I watched the water drip slowly until no more came out of the spout.

I looked down at myself and I felt like laughing, I survived my father for 17 years, but this? A simple heartbreak to a relationship that didn't even exist was all it took for me to end it?

I took one last whiff of air before I submerged my head underwater. I held my breath as I felt my heartbeat slow down slowly. I thought of my life as I willed my mind to calm, my first thought surprisingly were my birthdays. The very first one I could remember was when I was four. I felt myself inhale the water as time moved by agonizingly slow. That birthday was the only one I cared to remember, it was the only time my father had given me a present. My body finally became aware of what was going to happen and my heart beat started to increase. I felt my heart beat against my rib cage as I felt a need to thrash and get out of the water, but I didn't. My father had given me a simple card. Nothing grand, just a white card that had the basic words. 'Happy birthday, kid.' written messily on it. My heart felt like if it went any faster it would fly out of my body, I felt myself go motionless, my body had given up on trying to escape, it was trying to conserve oxygen but it was a futile effort. In only a few more minutes it would all be over. I cherished that card, I remember it being my symbol that maybe I would have a dad who would love me. I relaxed as I could feel my heart get, slower, and slower. So incredibly slow that I could almost taste death on the tip of my tongue...

"Dawn?" I heard Lucas' voice in my head, and my eyes sprang open, my calm reserve shattered as he mind linked me.

I saw a hand reach into the water and grab me by the arm, as they pulled me out at inhuman speed.

I felt my body gasp for air, and shake against the body of who was now holding me tight.

"DAWN!" Zeke yelled and I felt his body rumble against me. "What were you thinking!" Zeke's cheek was pressed on my wet forehead as he screamed. Something I never saw, Zeke always cracked jokes, had a happy tone in his voice whenever he would speak, so listening to him yell and shout especially since I was the cause of it broke me even more.

He pulled me back so he could see my face as I watched his contort from anger to sadness, Penny sat behind him and pushed the hair out of my face. I felt the water behind me slosh as it hit me in waves.

"I-I" I tried speaking but I burst into tears. Zeke pulled me into a hug as I sobbed into his shirt, probably soaking it even more. "I don't even-" I kept hiccuping with every few words. "I don't know why I even did it."I felt Penny join the embrace as she wrapped her arms around Zeke's collected form and my hysterical form.

"Hey, no. It's okay. You're okay, you're okay..." Zeke whispered into my wet hair. "This family's always there for you." And his simple words made me cry harder.

"We care for you Dawn, even though things don't look good right now. We're with you, and for you." Penny rubbed my back.

I nodded, and the tears started falling at a slower rate. I slowly moved away from them and Penny dashed to get me a towel to cover myself. Zeke held my hand as he helped me stand up, he had his eyes shut tight with his other hand as to not wanting to see without my clothes on, something I appreciated heavily.

"I love you, Dawn." I heard Penny say as she wrapped the towel around me, and hugged my cold body. "Please, don't ever do this again."

"I love you too, Dawn," Zeke said, his eyes now open. He stood behind Penny but kept his hand on my shoulder. "You're like the sister I've never had." and there was the happy Zeke I was so accustomed to.

I watched as Penny elbowed Zeke hard in the gut, and he let go of my shoulder to clutch it. "You have a sister, dumb ass."

"Yeah?" He groaned out. "Some type of sister."

I sighed, feeling slightly more content. And thankful for the feeling of feeling something. "I love you guys too."




Im lowkey scared to write the scene of when Dawn and Lucas come face to face. I can't expect anything good, orrrrrr maybe this was alllll a dreaaaamm.







Its not a dream JSFJDS SORRY. ♥

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