Dying to Live

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

John's point of view

"Get out."

The words burn into my head like a brand. I bet the pain growing in my shattering heart slightly resemble that of a brand as well.

I must have heard him wrong.

"What?" I ask, pulling his warm sheets around myself.

"J-Just leave me please!" Foster's blue eyes turn watery, his lip quivers. "Why?"

Taking short, quick breaths I feel myself getting lightheaded-and I'm 90% sure it wasn't because of the lack of oxygen.

"Foster?" I bite my lower lip. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" He hisses with so much venom I'm taken aback and begin shivering.

"Please tell me." I whimper. How did things get like this? Just an hour ago I was asking to be fully Foster's. Now he's kicking me out?!

"You thought I wouldn't find out." My eyes widen. "Ha! See you know exactly what I'm talking about!"

How'd he find out? Did he realize I wasn't a virgin? Did Drake confess? Did someone see Drake and I? Forget all of that, why on earth is he mad at me? I'm the victim!

"I'm sorry Foster," I weep. "I was going to tell you."

A frustrated growl comes from the man that once was mine. Wait, he can't leave me. He wouldn't. Would he?

"Yeah, after I gave everything to you? Huh?" Foster voices spitefully. "It's sick John! Sick!"

I feel the tears start spilling from my eyes, onto my cheeks. "I was afraid okay. I didn't know how you'd react." The coppery taste of blood fill my mouth, pointing out how hard I was biting the inside of my cheeks.

"How I'd react?! Oh what did you expect me to do? Fall to my knees, begging for you?" He picks my clothes from off the floor, tossing them at me. "Just leave."

The door slams.

This is when I break down. Why was he being so mean to me? Drake was the one who hurt me! Was Foster okay with that?! Does he love his family that much? He'd pick his rapist brother over his lover?

No more Foster. I'll no longer have anyone to hug me. No one who waits for me. No one to show me what life is all about. I'm once again lost in the sea of life, searching aimlessly for something more than just "getting by".

With my clothes on, I make the walk of shame out of the house I'd grown so familiar with. No more home made meals or the feeling of having a real family I got while being here. I'm not just losing Foster, I'm losing the feeling of being love. Being normal.

I slowly close the front door behind me then walk to the place I belong. Where all worthless lifeless freaks belong. I never belonged with Foster, from the start I knew he was much too good for me. He's upper class, I'm the lowest of the low. The unwanted.

To stop from losing myself completely, my thumb runs against the small silver band on my index finger. Just because things ended doesn't mean I'm not going to keep my promise. I'll love Foster until the day I die, even after that. Like I said, I don't care what Foster might do to me. I'll love him no matter what.

"We broke up." I say emotionless, staring blankly out the window.

I've cried all my tears on the way home and now I'm just in a state of shock. What if Foster really was just using me? He got sex then blew up in a fit of rage, not one bit of it directed at his evil brother. Drake was right.