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One day, I woke up and realized one thing.
Pero ayokong aminin sa sarili ko.
Ayoko ipasok sa sistema ko.
Pero wala akong magawa. It's too late para pigilan pa itong puso at isip ko.
For the past 4 years of my life, naniwala ako sa prinsipyo ko na walang second chance. Pinanindigan ko ang belief ko na everything should be only one shot.
I build up my walls to protect myself, and my soul. Because I felt betrayed and deeply hurted by the first man I ever loved.
I am left with nothing before. That's why I made it higher, stronger and even bullet proof. So that no one can hurt me again, no one can cheat on me again.
But one day, he comes back.
He didn't break my walls, but he climb that wall to be with me again.
"Kasi nga mahal mo parin." Untag sa akin ni Belle.
Yes, nag overnight siya dito sa bahay. Kain siya ng kain ng chips sa study table ko. Bawal kasi kumain sa kama. Rule ko sa kwarto ko yun, walang basagan ng trip.
"Belle." Nanghihina kong sabi sa kanya.
Tumayo naman siya at tumabi sa akin na naupo sa kama.
"I warned you about this, na posibleng mangyari ito sayo. But you even swear that you'll never fall for him again." Paalala nanaman niya sakin.
"Pero Belle kasi..." she cutted me
"Kasi naliwanagan ka na. Narinig mo na yung side niya that you refused to listen long time ago. Kasi nalaman mong he never cheated on you. Kasi nalaman mong he never betrayed you." Dire-diretso niyang sabi sa akin.
"Para kasing..." she cutted what I am saying again.
"Jem, Nathan is your greatest love. Your one true love. Admit that. Siya lang ang nagpapabilis ng tibok ng puso mo. And you still love him."
"I don't know..." again and again, she cutted me.
"I'm your bestfriend and I know you. And I know that you really knew what you feel for him. Alam ng puso mo kung ano iyan pero ayaw tanggapin ng utak mo." He said sabay simot sa mga mugmog ng chips na kinakain niya.
"Ehh luka ka kasing babae ka, ayaw mo ako pag paliwanagin." Nang gigigil ko na sabi sa kanya.
Tawa naman siya ng tawa.
Pero sumeryoso bigla ang mukha niya. Aba'y abnormal ata tong babaeng to eh.
"Alam mo ba..." She started pero agad ko naman siyang pinutol.
"Hindi pa, ngayon mo pa lang sasabihin diba." Pambabara ko naman sa kanya. Gantihan lang beshy.
"Hayuf! Pero seryoso na. Right from the start, alam ko na ganito ang mangyayari. Dahil alam ko naman na deep down in your heart, siya parin ang gusto mo." He said seriously.
"Luh, parang tanga to." Kunwari'y naiinis kong sabi sa kanya.
"Jem, maraming nanligaw sayo. Maraming nagtangka. Kabisado ko lahat wag kang ano diyan. Henry Borromeo, Lester Quiambao, Philip Hidalgo, Anton Dela Rama, Nicoli Johnson. And even Wency Dane Mendez, niligawan ka ategirl, pero kahit isa sa kanila, wala kang sinagot. Some of them, mas gwapo at mas mayaman kay Nathan, pero hindi mo sinagot. Kahit nga i-entertain ayaw mo eh." She said. Parang nagbilang pa siya sa daliri niya when he enumerate the names.
BINABASA MO ANG
Your Love (transgenderXstraight)
RomanceIs he still the same guy I used to know? The same guy I met years ago? The same guy I fell in love? The same guy I'm still in love with. This is a story of a transgender and a straight guy. About wrong decisions and mistakes in life, regrets, second...