Finding An Anchor

*4

  JENPOV

I woke up to a sore feeling between my legs. Getting out of bed, a small smile formed on my lips as last night events came rushing back to me. He laid there sleeping so peacefully. If this wasn't my house I would have taken my things and leave. I need him go, but I don't want to be rude about it, so how am I going to get this man out of my house? Gosh! the mornings after is always the hardest part, seeing as how I was only interested in the sex. 

I left him there and head for my room. After taking a quick shower, I put on some sweat pants along with an oversized T-shirt. Looking over at the clock i saw that it was 7:30am. Maybe I should go for a drive and when he wakes up he'll know that he should just leave. I can't deal with a confrontation right now.

I went down to the kitchen and got started on my breakfast. I need to eat. I made some Spanish omelette, bacon and some black coffee. As I started eating i felt someone arms around me.

"I'm not important enough to get invited to the morning after breakfast. 

"I put yours in the microwave," I replied pointing towards it. 

He kissed me on my cheek before unwrapping his arms from around my waist. I bit down on my bottom lip, as I watch his 6ft shirtless frame walking away to get his food. Seconds later he came back plopping down right next to me and started eating. 

"I've missed your cooking so much Jen" I looked at him but I had no words.

"Why can't we just be normal Jen, I'm tired of this behind close door thing that we do. Over the pass year I've been thinking about ways to make this better for us. I want to have a future with you Jen I want us to get married." I burst out laughing so hard that when I saw the look on his face I actually thought he was being serious.

"Like you wanted to get married when we were in law school? Or like you pretended we were married everytime you wanted to get in my hotel room when you were suing a client of mines?" He looked at me with sad eyes but I was too furious to care. "This may be a game to you, Deno but it's not for me and I'm guessing you have something up your sleeve. Which one of my clients are suing now eh?" I questioned glaring at him. 

"It's not like that, Jen that's the only way I know how to get your attention when I let you beat me." The nerve of this frog.

"You let me beat you?" I scoffed then continued, "your ego is way too big for that." He straighten up on the stool as if trying to look intimidating. "Plus I've always won fair and square, that's why after I win you never show up for victory sex. You always come before you issue documents to try and weaken me. You need to get the fuck out my house!" I was practically screaming at this point. 

"I really do love you Jen," he held on to my hands looking into my eyes. Tears well in my eyes and I quickly blink them away. "You just need to open your eyes and see that because I can't wait for you forever and there it is the ultimatum." What the fuck is wrong with this fool?! "So put your tough girl act aside, I'll see you at the deposition on Monday." I stared at him emotionless wanting to slap the cockiness off his face. He looked a little sad like he was going to cry, but I'm not gonna fall for that shit again.

"GET THE FUCK OUT, AARGH!" I screamed at him. He let go of my hands and went to pick up his belongings. He looked at me with sad eyes heading for the door and I turned my back to him. Seconds laterIi heard the door close and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I sat at the kitchen island feeling a little emotional after what just transpired. Why the fuck would I cry over that bottom feeder?

I sighed getting up to clean the dishes.Afterwards I decided to watch some Tv, not long after I saw Nick coming in. She eyed me strangely while putting her bags down before she spoke. 

"What's wrong babe, who do I have to kill?"

"I'm good Nick," I said looking down as I switched through the channels.

"Have you taken your shot as yet?"

"N,o I forgot."

"I'll go get it."

"OK," I answered weakly. Why am I letting him affect me? After she administered my shot I told her about my night with Deno and his marriage proposal, she took a few minutes to process everything.

"So he brought up marriage again, you think he's serious this time around?" 

"I really don't care, Nick, the man has never liked second place. I think this is more of a business decision, I still have his mother's ring from his college proposal. I don't know why I'm bringing up the ring." She sat down next to me with sympathy in her eyes. "I've thought about pawning it but it didn't feel right even after all the shit he has pulled. I didn't want to do that to their memory plus I felt it had some sentimental meaning to me." I sigh feeling really stressed out over this bulshit.

"I really don't know what's going on between you two and I'm not going to try and come in between it. Because it's not the first, maybe you need to date someone else other than just a one night stand." I sigh frustrated. "You need to know that he is not gonna be the only guy to ever care about you, your beautiful talented, and successful own it," she said sincerely. "Don't cut everybody out, Jen and if he's the one you'll know. I love you and I'll always have your back and I'm here for you no matter what you choose to do." I hugged her for he kind inputs.

"Thanks, mom," I mocked her. 

"OK, I have work to do so I'm going to my room."

"You don't have a house?"

"I woke up next to two dudes so I left, I couldn't deal with that shit," she answered nonchalantly.

"You wild little bitch!" She laughed while walking up the stairs.

After my talk with Nick, I got up and went to my room. I started thinking about Deno. He's a piece of work and this minute you might see that he's ready for something mature and real. But I know it's just gonna turn into him backing down and I'm not chasing anybody. He has always treated everything and everyone as a client, he only sees black and white and I've got caught in the crossfire too many times to let it happen again. Deno was my first everything my first kiss, first boyfriend, he took my virginity and I took his. The night after it happened his parents died and I felt so sorry for him. I tried to be there for him the best way I know how and I think that made us closer than ever. 

I knew his parents very well before they died and they were really nice to me besides the fact that I didn't come from a lot of money. After he got his trust fund he asked me to marry him. I didn't think we were ready for that so I told him I'd think about it or maybe we can try again after law school. It was just four months after the passing of his parents, and I knew I was still hurting. But I know he just saw my answer as a lost. Later that day I had dropped by his apartment to find him and another girl sucking faces, I felt so betrayed and hurt I ran away with tears in my eyes. That wasn't even the worst part, he came to my room couple days after drunk out his mind.

He said the world doesn't revolve around me so I should just accept that I lost. like the nerve of this donkey. I put the biggest smile on my face despite my broken heart and said "sorry to disappoint you lover boy but I'm over it. I'm not upset infact I'm glad you found someone else because you came with too much baggage and it's ok if I was just sex to you. But know this, when you see me you'll always be reminded that you can only have a taste of what you'll never completely have."

Saying that, I closed my door in his face. A couple days later he came and said he was drunk and don't remember the conversation we had. And he just wanted us to be friends and nothing else and how sorry he was for whatever he did. Even though I didn't forgive him I should have never continue to be his friend. Look where that got me, I should have just dropped his monkey looking ass back in law school. But I didn't think it would come back to bite me in the ass and I promised his mother I'd always be there for him.

    Authors Note
Hey guys sorry for the late update I keep losing my chapters tell me what you think
Xoxo, 😎😋