Some Kind Of Beautiful (BxB)

7|Some Kind of Bombshell

7|Some Kind of Bombshell

TRIGGER WARNING:

Strong language. Sexual Assault. Child Abuse. Depression.
_______________________________
Before this chapter even begins I want to say that as a sexual assault survivor I believe that the information I've provided is accurate. I know many people like to include flashbacks and flashes of their characters' assault like they do on TV. But I'm here to tell you that's simply inaccurate and not true at all. In real life it doesn't happen, or at least not to me, I just remember the way I felt, the way I still feel. Because when you go through something so traumatic the brain blocks it out as a way to protect itself. Anyway I'm done rambling, let's get to the good stuff!

Daniel and I fell onto my bed in a fit of kisses and laughs. My body tingled all over, as if I my nerves were being cooked by the sun. I laid on my back and looked into his eyes as he climbed over me. The lamp danced off of his face in a warm way, in no way resembling past experiences.

I felt like I was going to freak out. Even though this wasn't like last time I still felt like my heart would explode. He must've noticed the look in my eyes because he hesitated for a moment. "Are you okay? W..we can stop..."

"N..no I'm fine. Kiss me." I said trying not to. He dipped his head and kissed me with a tenderness that eased all of my worry. I felt his tongue graze my lips and I allowed him to ease it into my mouth. He moaned as he deepened the kiss. I could feel myself throb as the inexplicable ache in my stomach returned with a vengeance.

My hands shook as they found the bottom of his shirt and I tugged at it. I could feel the muscles of his back roll, making it easier for me to pull his shirt off and expose his rippled abs. I couldn't help but run my hand from his happy trail up to his pecks and he watched me as I did so.

I bit my lip, trying not to think too much. Daniel took my hand and kissed the back of it before kissing my palm. He rolled off of me and laid on the bed beside me, leaving my heart to race and my mind dumbfounded. "Did I do something wrong or.."

"No, no, of course not. You're perfect. This was perfect but I..you're shaking. So I think we should slow it down a bit. Maybe watch those slutty doctors you love so much?" He suggested with a grin.

I started to smile and clenched my fists together to ease my nerves. I looked down at my hands and released a breath. He noticed without me saying a thing. I looked up when he climbed out of bed and walked across the room to the tv. I watched as his shirtless body stood over the flatscreen for a moment, trying to turn it on.

My bottom lip was strewn between my teeth as I watched him. I felt my heartstrings being pulled and sighed. I thought I would be able to keep this to myself a little longer. "Daniel it's not that I don't want to do it with you but..."

"Ollie it's fine. We can wait as long as you need to." He said flashing a smile at me over his shoulders. When he saw the look on my face his smile fell and he sat on the edge of my bed. I clenched my hands together, wincing as my nails sliced through the skin. Daniel's eyes travelled to my hands and he scooped them up in his.

I looked at our hands together and breathed out once more. "I'm glad that you're willing to wait but I don't think you understand. I want to have sex with you but I have to tell you something first." I said unable to take my eyes off of our hands. I know if I look him in the eye I'll lose all the courage I've built up to shame.