In My Life

Chapter 45:

1:35 pm.
The train was late. Olivia looked down at her watch impatiently, tapping her foot as she bit her lip, shivering on the platform as the sounds of passengers echoed around her.

She knew what she was doing was wrong. The thought of leaving John was killing her soul. This wasn't easy for her to leave, especially when the option to stay was readily available. Her decision to leave began to really sink in, making her actions of running away feel irrational but it was true. She still loved John so why was she doing this?

Olivia's eyes stayed glued at the small red baggage sitting at her feet, contemplating of actually going through this. This wasn't like her at all and just knew if she went through this decision, it would not only break her heart but it would break John's.

Every bit of her mind went back to that conversation back at The Cavern and went through every little word as if she were trying to decipher any clues it could just be a rumour but it seemed her mind was already set; It was true. All of it.

That was the thing she really struggled with John while they had been apart. As much as she didn't want to admit it, being with other women bothered Olivia. She understood that while they were apart, it was difficult to get that physical satisfaction they both enjoyed with each other. However, she compared it to regardless of how far apart they were, she always remained faithful and waited for that moment they would get together. And when they did get that intimate moment, she always savoured it until the next time she was able to have it once again.

With John, it was different. It seemed that regardless of their situation, it didn't seem to phase him, at least in her eyes. As soon as he returned home from seeing her, he had returned back to his regular routine, which was writing songs, performing gigs, and finding some suitable girl that would satisfy his physical needs. Because of this consistent routine, it made Olivia very wary when she returned to Liverpool to be with him permanently. She constantly wondered, even as much as he had told her he wouldn't, if he was having infidelities behind her back.

Olivia and John had different views when it had came to this topic when they had discussed this previously after her divorce but she always remained supportive. But at this moment, she felt as if regardless of her support, it still didn't matter what she thought. Whatever John wanted to do or wanted, he got and that's where Olivia was having a difficult time deciding if this was really what he wanted. Was John ready to be tied down? Was he ready to be a father?

Olivia broke her gaze as the sound of the loud whistle her train to London arrived, coming to a slow stop right next to the platform.

She picked up her red baggage and held it in her hands as she watched the passengers from the previous ride begin to descend off the train, making their way and grabbing their baggage. As she watched the crowd, there was a specific couple that caught her eye.

They were a young couple that seemed to be the same age as her and John. The dark-haired boy wore a leather jacket and the girl, who also had dark hair, wore an emerald coloured dress, smiling widely as she looked at the boy. They seemed completely carefree and happy as they walked hand in hand, making their way to claim their baggage.

A few tears began to glaze over her eyes as she stared at them, almost as if she had been watching her and John. The way they stood there and looked into each other's eyes as they waited for the attendant, the way his hands had grazed over her hips, pulling her closer flashed memories of John in her mind.

There was the time when she had dropped her ice cream cone on the pavement on the Mersey when they were kids. She was incredibly upset, especially since they both didn't have any more money to get another one but yet, John gave her his ice cream cone to make her happy.