Quotes you won't believe my friends have said

Eve

'The gods favour me.'

'I don't know what kind of black hole gutter your mind is in'

'So now that we've established I'm crazy-'

'I'm everyone's favourite' *I stare at her* '... second favourite'

'Hey, are Donald Duck and Daisy Duck related or married?'
(we looked it up, Donald is Daisy's brother's brother in law)

'Help me, blood is rushing out of my vagina and I can't stop it.' -eve when she was on her period...

'If this ship goes up in flames, I'm murdering everyone aboard.'

'Hey, how do you spell 'of'?'

'Is it Pul-toe or Pol-oo-toe' 'Me: It's Pluto'

'What's your favourite type of stand?'

''*moans* that was orgasmic' -this was about a game

*sneezes* *wipes it on MY jacket* 'Ewww.. at least you can wash it' *is literally holding her own jacket in her lap*

'I'd marry a rich man, I don't care what he looks like or acts like. As long as he treats me rights, I'll be a gold digger.'

'The reason I'm so quiet all the time is so that if I murder someone, no one will think it's me'

'We may be bitches but we have STANDARDS'

'You're only psychopathic enough to hug someone'

'Guys, it's the holidays, my brains gone all stupid. You can't throw things at me. I won't catch them'

'I'm the baby ready to come—OH MY GOD MY RING FELL OFF'

'I always call myself an animal. Why is this news to you?'

'I lick the blood off my knife too'

'I want that when I'm older. Someone to sit me on a spinning table and shove their fingers in me'

'If you were to eat an eyeball would it pop or fizz and would you boil or fry it?'

'I think I just preformed a satanic ritual and didn't realise it. We're going to be haunted by a watermelon demon.'

'Sink into the chin!'

*tells everyone to hit the piñata gently* *proceeds to knock it off the ceiling on her first go.*

*on a flying fox* 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' *pauses* 'Okay, I'm good,' 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.'

'We were in science class, and then I banged her... with a ruler.'

*asks morty* 'do you have a ka née?' Morty answers 'yes I have two ka nees' *looks at baby giraffe* 'LET ME TOUCH YOUR KA NEES!' 'KA NEES OUT I CAN TOUCH THEM'
'I'd make an awkward ass horse'
'I'd make an attractive cat'

Scotty: ' so I had this dream last night' Eve: 'oh did you have a dream you were falling in love with me? Because that's not a dream, that's reality'

'Something a name touch me'

'Baby giraffe is a seagul. Bop bop seagull.That's not a seagull'

'Without coastal buffers the waves would be like, HI'

'I'd be a drowned baby'

'Can I touch your placenta?' Please something's a name'

'Yo I helped you escape, no you just brought me to another place, that's human t-ck-trafficking.'

'It's fleshy and it bounces everywhere'

'Eeeeeeeeeeeee, I'd make a good goat'

'Eeeaaaa' *baby girafe turns towards her* what did I do? * eve answered 'I don't know! You flexed!'