On the Beach at Night [Nagito x Reader]

Chapter 25: Confused

Nagito would be waking up soon, so (Y/N) pulled up a chair next to his hospital bed, anxiously waiting. He was stirring more frequently, each time making her think he was about to awaken, only to fall right back into quiet snoring.

"Hey..." she whispered softly, curious to see if she would get any response out of him. His eyelids started to flutter at the sound of her voice. He turned his head to her direction, his eyes barely a squint.

"(Y/N) ...you're here." His voice was shaky and barely audible.

"Yes, I'm here, Nagito. I'm here." She repeated, trying her best to be reassuring. He tried to reach out to her, but there was no arm to reach with. His eyes shifted down to the bandaged remains of what used to be his left arm.

"Oh..." He seemed lost for words. His expression was hard to read. He didn't seem startled by the realization his arm was missing, but he wasn't particularly thrilled either.

"I'm sorry." She didn't want to bombard him with questions right away, so instead she chose to reach for his right hand. She cupped her hands around his fingers and delicately stroked the top of his hand with her thumb. He didn't object, but he wasn't returning the gesture either. It almost seemed like he was avoiding her gaze. Instead, he stared blankly at the wall in front of him as he spoke.

"You shouldn't be here." He said plainly.

"Why not?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Seeing me like this. Disgusting."

"It's okay. I don't mind." she gave him a small smile, hoping to lighten things up. It seemed to be working a little because she felt him squeeze her fingers.

"You shouldn't be here, but I'm glad you are." He finally looked at her. Even though he was smiling, his eyes looked so weary and lifeless. Unable to wait any longer, (Y/N) finally blurted out the question that was on her mind.

"Nagito...what do you remember?

"I think I remember everything that happened in the Neo World Program, at least up until I died." He spoke about his own death so casually, it made (Y/N) wince at the memory. "Then there's a gap."

"So, you remember...us?" she nervously whispered. He didn't answer right away. He looked almost conflicted, like he wasn't sure how to answer the question. It made her heart sink to the floor in anticipation of his answer. If he remembered everything in the program, of course he would remember their time together. But why was he taking so long to answer?

"Yes." That was all he said. A single word that took he took so much time to come up with. She tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had just woken up and was probably heavily medicated. Maybe his memory was just difficult to retrieve.

"Okay." she said, not knowing how else to respond. "I was just curious."

"Did I upset you, (Y/N)?" he asked innocently. Was it that obvious to him?

"No, no! It's nothing." she was a little too defensive with her words, but she hoped he wouldn't notice. "I just thought this conversation would go a little differently."

"How so?"

"I..." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes already. She cursed herself for always crying so easily. "I'm just so happy to see you. But you don't seem to be happy to see me."

"(Y/N), don't be ridiculous." It almost sounded like he was scolding her. "There's nobody I'd rather see than you. The fact that after everything I've put you through, you were still here at my side, waiting for me to wake up...I truly don't deserve that."