Be Without You (Completed)

7

May 2003, Beyoncé's POV

I woke up the next morning and immediately shielded my eyes from the piercing sunlight coming into the room. My head was throbbing and I felt like I was going to throw up. I can count on one hand the number of times I've had as much to drink as I did last night so I forgot just how terrible a hangover feels.

I turned my head and saw Idris laying there sleeping, which startled me for a second, until last night's events starting hazily coming back to me. I didn't remember everything, but I vaguely remembered spending a lot of time with Idris and then going home with him. I just hope we used a damn condom.

Now I've never had a one-night-stand before, so I didn't know proper protocol, but I really just wanted to get my things and slide out of there before he woke up. Judging by his loud snoring I figured he was still sleeping pretty heavily and I could easily make it out of there without disturbing him. I slowly and carefully got out of bed, picked last night's clothes up off the floor and got dressed. I picked up my purse and made it out the door without Idris waking up. At least that's one thing I have to be happy about.

Now that I was no longer under the influence, I was still completely broken over what happened with Shawn. And while I had fun at the party, I had nothing but regrets after sleeping with Idris last night. Yes he was fine as hell, I'll admit that even sober, but I've never slept with someone I wasn't in love with before - hell, I've never slept with someone that wasn't Shawn before. And now I've slept with this random man and I can't even remember it well enough to even know if we used protection or not. I felt dirty, ashamed, depressed, hungover, and exhausted, to say the least.

Luckily Idris' building was a quick walk to mine because I was not feeling a long walk this morning. When I got to my room and opened the door Kelly was finishing packing some things up. How she was up and productive this early today was beyond me - but then again she didn't drink her weight in tequila last night like I did.

She looked me up and down and said, "Damn Bey." I couldn't blame her, I knew I looked a hot mess. My hair was messed up, my makeup was all smudged, I had giant bags under my eyes, and I looked like I was going to cry. Suddenly the memory of Kelly trying to convince me not to leave with Idris came back to me.

"Please don't say I told you so," I said quietly, not looking Kelly in the eye.

"Aww boo boo you don't need an I told you so, you need a hug, come here," she pulled me in and gave me a hug as I started to cry into her shoulder. "It's ok, you're ok," she kept saying as she stroked my hair. I was really blessed to have a best friend like her.

"I set aside some clothes for you to change into, almost everything else is packed in the car. Why don't you get changed and go wait for me, I'll be down in a second. I also have some advil in my purse if you wanna take some of that."

I wiped my eyes and nodded, "Thank you, Kelly, I love you so much."

—-

For pretty much the entire hour long drive home I was quietly holding back tears. I couldn't wait to just get home and get into bed and pretend none of this ever happened.

Kelly pulled up to my parent's house and helped me get my stuff out of the car and came inside with me. My family was like a second family to her so she wanted to stop in and say hi.

As soon as I opened the door my mama came running over with excitement, "My babies are home!," she cheered. She came over to me, arms wide open for a hug, but stopped when she saw me with my hair still a mess, eyes red and swollen from crying, and smeared mascara, "Oh Beyoncé, what happened to you?" she asked in a way that sounded both concerned and horrified.

Tears started to fill my eyes. I didn't wanna tell my mom what happened. My whole family loved Shawn. Well my mom and little sister Solange did. My dad tolerated him which is pretty much as good as it gets for him when it comes to the men in me and Solo's life. Luckily my dad was at work and Solange was still in school (she's a senior in high school), so I only had to deal with talking to my mom right now.

Kelly gave my mom a sad look, "Her and Shawn broke up yesterday."

My mom gasped, "Oh Bey, sweetie, I'm so sorry," she said pulling me into a hug.

I really didn't want to get all emotional again and I still felt pretty horrible from my hangover, so I excused myself to go lie down in my room.

Kelly's POV

"It's her first real heartbreak, poor thing," Mama Tina said sympathetically once Bey got upstairs.

I nodded, "I know, she's not taking it so well either." That was all I was going to say on the matter. I certainly wasn't going to tell Ms. Tina about what went down last night and it was Beyoncé's business whether or not she wanted to tell people the reason why her and Shawn broke up.

"It was great seeing you Ms. Tina, I think I'm gonna head home now. I'll stop by later today or tomorrow to check on Bey."

"Ok sweetie, you take care and tell your mama I said hello, ok?" She gave me a hug goodbye and I left out to go home.

...

Beyoncé's POV

I opened my eyes from my much needed nap and picked up my cell phone to check the time. 4:35 pm. Damn, I must've really needed that nap. I was sleep for almost 6 hours, and physically, I felt much better now than I did before I went to sleep.

I saw I had a text message from an unknown number.

Text from (713) 425-0796: Hey B, I know we haven't kept in touch too well but I'm having a get together at my parents' house tonight with a buncha people from high school. Hope you come thru, it'd be great to see you.

There was only one person that could be.

Reply: I'm sorry, I got a new phone and don't have this number saved. Is this Lyndell?

Text from (713) 425-0796: Damn, B! You hit me with the "new phone who dis?!"

I smiled, he was clearly still the same old Lyndell. I did regret not keeping in touch with him better throughout college. Despite how our relationship ended, we were always good friends. We'd see each other around during breaks and stuff but he was really busy with basketball at UCLA and I was busy with school and with Shawn. It would be good for me to spend the night with old familiar friends. As long as I don't get betrayed by the love of my life or get stupid drunk and sleep with a stranger then it'll be better than what I was doing last night.

Reply: I'm sorry! I really did get a new phone! I'd love to stop by tho. Did you invite Kelly?

Text from Lyndell: Yeah, pretty much everyone from the old basketball and cheerleading team that's still in the Houston area.

Reply: Awesome, I'll see you there.

I texted Kelly: You going to Lyndell's tonight?

Text from Kelly: Hell yeah! I was gonna ask you the same. How are you feeling?

Reply: Yeah I'm down to go. I feel much better after my 6 hour nap lol.

Text from Kelly: Good! I'll come pick you up around 9?

Reply: See u then.

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