Be Without You (Completed)

10

Present Day, Beyoncé's POV

"What did you do next?" Skai asked.

"As soon as I found out, I did what I always did when something big happened. I called Kelly."

July 2003

I stared at the positive pregnancy test in my hand as tears started rolling down my face. I started to hyperventilate. This can't be happening, this absolutely can't be happening. But it was.

I knew I was pregnant already because I had been throwing up for the past few weeks. And I was about to miss my period for the second month in a row, but I didn't want to take a pregnancy test. I guess I thought if I continued living in denial then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

But now as I saw the positive pregnancy test I had in my hand, and the three other positive tests in my trash can, it was time to deal with it.

I threw the test in the trash and tried to take some deep breaths to pull myself together as I dialed Kelly's number.

"Hey Bey!" She answered sounding happy and carefree as ever.

"Hey," I said lowly.

"What's going on, is everything okay?"

I took a deep breath. "Kelly, I have something to tell you."

"Okay..."

"You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone, okay? You're the first person to know."

"Of course, I promise."

I exhaled as I mentally prepared myself to say it out loud, sometimes saying something out loud just makes it that much more real. "I'm pregnant, Kelly."

She gasped, "Oh my goodness, Bey....are you okay? How do you feel? What are you gonna do?"

"Umm...no I'm not exactly okay, I feel nauseous and exhausted and freaked out, and I guess...I guess I'm gonna have a baby," I answered truthfully.

I heard Kelly take a deep breath. "Wow...have you told Shawn yet?"

I laughed nervously. "So that's the thing..." I started.

"What?" Kelly asked.

"I don't know if he's the father" I said quietly.

"WHAT?!" Kelly shouted, practically blowing out my eardrum.

"It could also potentially be Lyndell or Idris."

"Well are you gonna find out?" Kelly asked.

"Nope," I said.

"Bey..."

"Kelly, listen," I said, "Idris was a one night stand. I don't even know his phone number, where he's from, nothing. Lyndell already told me he's in love with me, this will just put it in his head that we should be together, and besides he's starting on the Lakers, he's not ready to be a father right now, I'm not gonna hold him back from his dream for a baby that may not even be his. Even if he was the father he's not gonna move out here and I'm sure as hell not moving to California. And Shawn...I was serious when I said I never wanted to see him again. Yes, I may still be in love with him but he fucked it up. He brought this on himself, he has a whole ass girlfriend and nothing he says can change that. I just feel like honestly, I don't need this stress and neither does my baby. I just started out my 'new life' here in New York and things are going well. I'm working on getting over Shawn, I haven't been making dumb decisions, I'm loving my job so far. I'm in a much better place and I'd really just like to keep it that way."