Fear // Ashton Irwin

Chapter 8

I met him as the first one, when I walked into school. I walked by his side to class. I thought about him during class. I waited for him outside the class. I sat beside him during lunch. I walked with him home. I looked, touched and heard him all day after school.

And it was like my life depended on every single thing he did. If he didn't smile - I didn't smile. Simple as that.

And that frightened me.

Never in my whole life had I depended on someone. I had never let a person get this close, as close as I had let Ashton, only after these 3 months we had known each other.

Was this even good for me? Did it really make me happy? I could say it didn't at the moment. And Ashton knew too.

"Please tell me what's wrong. Don't shut me out." He pleaded. I didn't look at his eyes, but I could tell they were just as pleading as the tone in his words. I hadn't said a thing all day. I had just walked beside him, being focused on what situation I should deal with first.

"It's nothing." I simply said. I honestly didn't know if it was the perfect plan to tell him about my feelings. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him.

"Then kiss me, please."

I finally locked my eyes with his. His face was only centimetres from mine, and I could tell he was really worried about me.

But I just gave him a kiss on the cheek.

And then turned my eyes away again.

"Really?" He angrily said. He tried to get any reaction from me, but I was cold as ice. I didn't know what to do.

He turned around, and then he just walked down the hall, not inviting me to follow him. And I knew I shouldn't follow him. It's weird sometimes it's just a human-instinct that you know you probably shouldn't say anything or follow someone, because you know that would cause a scene.

And for the first time since I walked in through the doors at this school, I was alone.

I felt utterly lost all of the sudden.

With a heavy heart I walked into one of the toilets and locked the door behind me and sat down on the floor.

I didn't exactly cry, I just tried to hold back the unwelcome tears.

How could this happen? I shouldn't have been worrying about this, but of course I was.

I was the only one that was in the control of my life, but it sure as hell didn't feel like that at the moment.

-

*Ashton's P.O.V.*

"Dude, where is Fae?" Michael asked when I sat down at our table.

"I wouldn't know." I just answered not bothering to stop being a freaking idiot. When I left her at her locker, a lump was formed in my throat. I shouldn't have just left her there. I didn't want to either, I just wanted to talk things out with her.

"You literally haven't left each other for about a month. What's wrong?" Michael asked suspiciously. He knew something was up.

"It's not like that party where she just suddenly left you?" He laughed.

"No it's not, can you just shut up." I said irritated, and he instantly pulled his hands up in defence.

Michael didn't speak to me for the rest of the lunch period. My eyes were glued to the door, waiting for Fae to enter at any moment.

Meanwhile Calum and Maia sat down at our table, but I just ignored them too. The only thing I worried about was Fae. Wasn't she going to eat at all?

I was just about to go look for her, when a familiar face took a step in front of me.

"Where's Fae?" Her little sister, Emily, asked me. All the eyes on the table turned to look at us.

"The last time I saw her was by the lockers. I haven't seen her since." I answered standing up. Emily crossed her arms over her chest, squeezing her eyes together.

"I thought you always had an eye on her?" She asked.

"I do, I don't even know... She hasn't talked to me all day."

"You probably did something bad."

"He always screw up things." Michael said from behind me. Emily's eyes quickly shifted from me to him, and her arms fell down her sides.

"I do not, she's probably just stressed about something." I assured Emily. She just nodded and walked away.

I turned around to the others seeing Michael look after Fae's sister as she walked away, his gaze a bit further down than being appropriate.

"I think you all should come over to my house this weekend. I would make something nice." Maia asked and Calum and Michael quickly joined in, and I just nodded not really caring about it.

And then the clock rang, and I was pushed through the halls, stretching my neck to find the known white hair that alarmed Fae would be here. But it was nowhere to be seen.

She didn't show up at our usual spot after school, and she didn't come to school the next day.

I hadn't texted her, but I had called her several times, but she didn't pick up. I knew that she looked through her phone, because Maia told me she had said yes to come to her event in the weekend. That means she was ignoring me.

And I was just left her confused with this whole situation. Was this relationship already doomed? I couldn't believe it. Maybe it was because we were so different. Maybe it was just meant to fail.

But I wouldn't have it. I was in love with this girl, I couldn't just let an unsolved and undiscovered problem block me from being with her.

-

*Author's note*

just wanna say that i'm terrible at keeping up with the time, and exact periods of times, so the time in this story is a bit odd and confusing I think so let me just explain:

The first part was after both Fae and Ashton had finished high school; they started dating in the sophomore year which makes it about 3 years later, let's just say that.

Before they went into a real relationship they were friends for about two months (which also includes the flashback from the party in part one of this book), and now the book is going on for about 3 months since they met. Which means they have been dating "officially" for about a month.

Hope that clear things up, I don't wanna confuse myself tbh

Hope you're all enjoying the story, thank you so much for 2k reads x