This note was released by BigHit on April 5, 2018 as a preview for BTS' album Love Yourself: 轉 ‘Tear’.
It describes Jungkook possibly contemplating suicide and ends by posing the universal question of why we are alive.
It’s important to note that these narrations are fictional. All of the events, quotes and characters are not real.
Jungkook
22 May YEAR 22
I thought my body was floating but it was actually the hard floor. I couldn't feel anything for a while.
↪↪In the video Euphoria: Theme of Love Yourself: 起 Wonder released by BigHit, in an alternative universe on May 22nd Jungkook is on a roof contemplating jumping off. In the HYYH Notes it is mentioned that earlier Jungkook had purposely gotten himself beat up in the city on April 11, and this feeling of uselessness progressed over time and drove him to later contemplate suicide.↩↩
My body just felt unbearably heavy. I couldn't even open my eyelids. I couldn't swallow or breathe. My consciousness was scattering and everything was gradually getting dimmer
But then suddenly, my entire body started shaking as if it was shocked by something. I opened my eyes in the midst of the unknown pain and agony. A light faintly came into my view beyond my uncomfortable sight that felt like it was blocked by sand.
It didn't move and just floated in the air. The figure became clear after staring at it for a long time. It was the moon
My head must've flipped back because the world was turned upside down. In that world, the moon was up upside down as well.
↪↪In reference to their music videos for their tracks “DNA” from the previous album Love Yourself: 承 Her and “Epilogue: Young Forever” from the album The Most Beautiful Moment in Life viewing the world from an upside-down perspective is a consistent parallel.
I tried to cough for air but I couldn't move. And then a rush of cold air hit. I got scared. I tried moving my lips but no words came out. I didn't close my eyes but it started gradually getting dark. Someone spoke to me while I was slowly losing my consciousness
"Living is going to be more painful than death. But do you still want to live?
↪↪↪"It is unclear who says these words to Jungkook. Death is a concept that BTS challenges and explores throughout their music and cinematography. Jin’s face cracking in “Blood Sweat and Tears,” Jimin running into a light at the hospital in Love Yourself:起 Wonder, and the match going out in “Spring Day” are all examples of this. Indeed life consists of a series of struggles and difficulties, yet despite death seeming easier than life every one of us is still alive. The question is literally posed toward Jungkook, but metaphorically it is pointed toward everyone who remains persistent in the face of life’s struggle. Why is it we choose to stay alive?"
