Namjoon
15 May YEAR 20
I went to the warehouse classroom that we claimed as our secret base. We always went there. I picked up a few chairs and I made my way in. I set the toppled-over table upright and patted off the dust on top of it with my palm. To humans, separation is always sentimental. Today was the last day of school and also two weeks until we'd move away. I didn't know if I would ever come back here or whether I would be able to see my hyungs and dongsaengs again. I folded the paper in half and placed it on the table. Although I held a pen in my hand, I didn't know what to write. Time passed by. After writing some meaningless words, the pencil lead broke with a sound.
"You must survive".
I unconsciously doodled those words onto the paper. Among all dark lead powder and doodling, I was suddenly reminded of poverty, parents, dongsaengs, moving, and other messy things.
I folded the paper into a ball, put it into my pocket and got up from my seat. Dust was everywhere again when I put the table back. As I got ready to leave I fogged up the window with my breath, and wrote 4 words. It was not enough at the moment, but it could be conveyed to everyone even if unsaid. "We will meet again." I hoped that this could be a promise between us.
Namjoon
11 April YEAR 22
I was digging through a shirt sale that didn't cost much when Taehyung reached from behind and took a shirt. It had the same phrases printed on it as my shirt. Taehyung smiled at me and took his ripped shirt off. Hoseok looked at me with shocked eyes. Taehyung wore my t-shirt and looked at himself through my dirty mirror. He laughed.
“I was late because he wanted to do graffiti and got caught by the police. I had to pull him out.” I pretended that I was getting angry at Taehyung, and Taehyung acted like he was really sorry. Yoongi, who was sitting in the corner of my trailer, walked towards us and hit Taehyung on the shoulder.
Namjoon
30 June YEAR 22
I looked a little strangely at myself in the mirror. As if my hand had its own control, I pressed the ‘open door’ button. There were moments like this. Moments that felt like I had repeated countless times even though it was obviously the first time. The elevator door that was closing opened again and a bunch of people pushed in. A person that had their hair tied in a yellow rubber band caught my eye. I didn't press the ‘open’ button knowing that the person would be there, but I thought that it was obvious that the person should be there. I moved back, one step at a time. As my back hit the cold wall I raised my head. The yellow rubber band caught my eye.
A person's back told a lot of stories. But I only understood a few of them. Some I had been able to faintly guess and some I couldn't understand. I suddenly came to the realization that you could only really know a person when reading everything just from their back. Were there people who could read who I was just by looking at my back? I raised my head and made eye contact with them through the mirror. They looked away. There were many moments like this. I raised my head again, but all I could see was my own face. I couldn't see my back.
Jimin
30 August YEAR 19
While Hoseok hyung was answering a call, I played around by stepping on hyung's shadow. Hoseok hyung bursted into laughter and said "Jimin has grown up". It took 2 hours to walk home from school. If you took the bus it was less than 30 minutes. It would be too little if you said it took 20 minutes. Hyung always lead me through shortcuts, alleys or even old bridges. We would stubbornly walk this route. It had been a year since I was discharged from the hospital and transferred schools. School was far from home and I didn't know anybody. I thought it was fine. I had transferred schools many times and who knew when I would be admitted to the hospital again. I thought that this would be nothing much.
