Last Stop

Chapter twenty

"I am telling you he is going insane!" Spencer tells the table who listen in relative interest. His hands are flying so I have to duck to the side to avoid getting hit in the head. "He seems to think that we are bloody Broadway actors, it is three weeks to go and he is acting like we begin tomorrow. Gena burst into tears yesterday because he was shouting at her."

My phone beeps as I zone out looking at my phone it is Eddy asking if I want to meet at the bakery before I head to work this afternoon. I smile replying that I would like to. Meet Denise properly that is. It means I can't take Spencer home but I am sure he will understand.

"Who you messaging?" Anna asks stopping Spencer's rant as everyone turns their attention to me as I put my phone away.

I sigh deciding that I can be honest with everybody since they have proven again and again they are on my side . " My father, I found out a few weeks ago that he lives here, in this town."

"Hectic man." Declan says "Is he nice at least?" I nod and everyone smiles telling me they are happy for me.

"When you seeing him next?" Spencer asks.

"He wants to see me this afternoon before I head to work." I say and he nods saying he will get David to come and fetch him I grin, squeezing his hand in thanks under the table.

"Hey I was thinking we should all have a movie evening this Saturday." Jessica says and everyone nods in agreement.

"Sorry guys I am busy." I say smiling slightly as they turn to me in question. Luckily the bell rings before they can question me. That doesn't stop Spencer following me out of lunch and asking. I was banking on that.

"What you doing? you don't have work this weekend?"

"No, But I was hoping to take someone on a date."

"Who?" He asks trying to play it cool but I can see his spark of green jealously in his eyes. He really doesn't hide it very well. My little green monster. 

"Someone special, you approve?"

I don't know why but I really like teasing him. "You don't need to ask my permission, we aren't dating."

I shrug as we walk into bio but before he can enter I spin around, holding the door frame as I lean down "I was hoping you would approve so I could pick you up at seven?" I ask loving how his cheeks colour as he realises I was talking about him the whole time.

"Okay." I grin, spinning around and heading into class, happily taking a seat as he slowly lowers himself down next to me, his cheeks still red.

"Hey Speck why do you look like you just ran a mile?" Henry asks leaning over us as he places a hand over his cheeks.

"Shut up." Is the only response he gets as I receive a shove when I start laughing.

Denise is nice, she says that it was shock when she found out but she knew about my mother and Eddy's past so she knew that it was a possibility. She tells me that I must come and visit the rest of the family because they are eager to meet me. Having told their children makes it feel super real and my stomach clenches in anxiety. I have spent my whole life by myself. Protecting my mother so I could stay with her. Protecting myself against the world and in a few short months I have more people to care about than I ever have and it scares the living daylights out of me.

They say the rest of the family. I have a family. Other than my mother. I like the feeling but it also scares me to no end. I gulp nodding at her suggestion.

"I should get to work." I say half standing up and Denise nods in understanding, embracing me. I remain slightly stiff as Eddy follows me out the bakery. Stopping by my truck.

"Are you okay, Cameron?" He asks gently and I swallow, nodding. "You sure, when Denise mentioned the other two you went pale. If you aren't ready that is fine, we have all the time in the world." I want to tell him that we don't. That my mother wants me back and I might be leaving for University soon. Anyways that is not the issue.

"No, that's not it,"I say softly kicking the trucks wheels. "I want to meet them."

"okay-"

"I need to go, I can't be late." I say cutting him off and hopping into the car. I drive away. He is still standing on the side walk. I drive until he disappears and then I stop. Pulling out my phone and dialing Mr Jackson.

"Hey Cameron, are you okay?"

"No, I think I am coming down with something." I say hating that I am lying but I can't deal with them now, can't see Spencer without wanting to act aloof and take back all the friendship we have acquired. "Can I make the hours up this weekend?"

"Don't even think about it, go home and rest and I will see you when you are feeling better."

"Thanks, sir." I say ending the call and then pulling the car into drive. I drive for an hour before I stop. In the middle of cornfields. I find a spot and stop. Getting out the truck and walking. I walk until it is dark, I am in the middle of the cornfield and I don't know which way to head so I sit down. The ground frozen beneath me. My tears mix with the sound of thunder before I am soaked through. I don't feel the ice against my skin. All I feel is the pain that is tearing inside of me. Who do I stay with, where do my loyalties lie. When, where, who and How.

I don't think many people understand the pain of growing up in an empty heart, growing up to be an adult as soon as possible. I don't remember if my mother ever came when I cried as I baby but I remember so many times in my room crying as I wished she would hear me. Come to me. It never happened. She cried all the time over guys, over addictions. Over who knows what. I was there for her and now people want to be there for me and I don't know how to let them. How to be a part of everyone. Be inside.

I don't know how long I am there until I collapse onto the mud, sleep over taking my senses as the thunder rolls over head. If all the pain could just disappear, for a few minutes. That would be great.